No Remedy For Memory
by BornForThe70's
Summary: After 'The Departed': Elena has two choice's to make live as a vampire or die as a human? And Damon or Stefan? She used to think it was Stefan but, with her heightened emotions Damon is becoming more and more irresistible. Lots of Delena fluff. Plus a shocker that will RIP your heart out...rip.
1. Is Love Greater than Fear?

**"And there's no remedy for memory your face is  
Like a melody, it won't leave my head  
Your soul is haunting me and telling me  
That everything is fine  
But I wish I was dead" -Lana Del Rey's Dark Paradise, the inspiration for this story.**

No Remedy for Memory

Chapter 1

Is Love Greater than Fear?

Darkness. The never ending abyss, consumes me. Eating away at my mind, my feelings, my life. Do I even have a life anymore? All I can feel is emptiness. It's like I'm a shell, hollowed out and dull of nothing but, air. I try and feel, try and hold on to something about my life. What was my life? Where in the universe am I? Am I even in the universe? There is no air here, I suck in jagged breaths of nothingness. Can I move? I try and tilt what feels like it should be my head. Nothing. I try to move my fingers…nothing. I've never felt so alone. The sea of blackness surrounding me is completely nonexistent. I can't feel anything from it. I'm beginning to wonder if I could feel anything anyway…That's when I hear it. A voice.

I listen more intently than ever. A name and face cross my mind, Damon. I see his raven black hair and glistening ice-blue eyes. I hear his velvety voice again as what I presume is a memory floods the open blackness in front of me. Projecting like a movie before me.

The first thing that comes into view is a road. A very misty somewhat familiar road. I see a girl walking towards it from a row of tree's she's pretty: straight brown hair and brown eyes, dressed simply in jeans and an aged red tee. I feel like I know her…I know now that I do. That girl…she's _me._ I start remembering other things too, this road it's in Mystic Falls. Where I live.

I hear my voice, "I know Bonnie, your right. You and my mom both are I just can't bring myself to tell him…at least not tonight. I'll call you later." I hang up my phone. Bonnie? Bonnie my best friend…a witch.

A voice makes me look up, "Katherine?" Damon says approaching me a confused look in his eyes, I saw past me shake her head. "Uh, no I'm Elena…" That's my name. I'm Elena Gilbert.

"Oh, you just look…I'm Damon." He said brushing the thought away.

"Not, to be rude or anything Damon, but it's kind of creepy that you're out here in the middle of nowhere."

"Your one to talk your out here all by yourself."

"It's Mystic Falls nothing bad ever happens here…" she looks down at her phone and then at Damon again, "Got, into a fight with my boyfriend."

He smirks, "About what? May I ask?" he say pushing his hands out in front of him.

"Life, future, he's got it all mapped out."

"You don't want it?"

Past me shrugged, "I don't know what I want."

"Well, that's not true," he said in an all-knowing voice. "you want what everybody wants."

"What, a mysterious stranger who has all the answers?"

Damon scoffs, "Let's just say I've been around a long time. I've learned a few things." He winked.

Past me smiled, "So, Damon tell me, what is it that I want?"

He steps closer, "You want a love that consumes you, you want passion, an adventure, and even a little danger…" Past me paused in awe by how true his words were, "So, what do you want?" she asked with a smirk. He breathed in deeply but, the sound of a car horn honking interrupted him, "That's my parents." She says recognizing the car, and then she turned back to Damon. "I want you to get everything you're looking for," he says staring into my eyes. A word hits me, compulsion. Damon…was a vampire. "But, right now I want you to forget that this happened, can't have people knowing I'm in town yet. Goodnight Elena." He says with that he's gone. Past me has no recollection of him as she climbs into her parent's car…how?

Suddenly names start flooding back to me: Damon, Stefan, Bonnie, Jeremy, Caroline, Tyler, Matt, Katherine, Klaus, Rebekah, Kol, Elijah, Finn, my mom, my dad, Aunt Jenna…everyone. Memories of each of them bounce around in my head I know exactly who I am now. I'm Elena Gilbert, I live in Mystic Falls my parents are dead and so is my aunt. I live a life full of vampires, witches, hybrids and werewolves. I'm in love…with _two_ amazing men. Stefan and Damon Salvatore. They're vampires. I'm the doppelganger of Katerina Petrova. She was in love with Damon and Stefan in 1864. As my life's biography starts playing out in my mind…I realize why I'm here. My last memory…the crash, making Stefan save Matt and _not_ me. Dying.

So that's why I'm here I'm dead. Is this hell? All this darkness? No, this can't be hell because it's not unbearable. No fire and brimstone…the memories they're happy ones. Well, some of them are others, not so much. Like choosing. Telling Damon that it was Stefan, and over the phone...I'm a horrible person.

I'm feeling more and more…alive now. I'm starting to hear voices…

"Classic you Stefan, actually listening to her. Saving Matt what were you thinking?" happiness shots though me, that's Damon. That's what he's saying right now. I push myself to get there and I finally find my way out of the darkness, back into my life. I pull in a breath and air floods my lungs filling me with life. "Damon?" I cough.

Suddenly I can feel people leaning over me. I let my eyes flutter open and the first face that comes into view is Damon's. Immediately I throw my arms around him wanting to make sure he's real. He laughs, "Well, I guess you're alive." He said pulling away, our faces were just inches apart and I wanted to kiss him so badly but, I didn't instead I turned to Stefan and gave him a hug as well. Stefan's strong arms encircled my waste making me feel safe. It's funny how I want to kiss Damon and I feel safe with Stefan; It works the other way too but, I feel like right now I should want to kiss Stefan. I shrug the thought away. Then another thought occurs to me.

_If I was dead then how am I here now?_

"Wait…" I say pulling away from Stefan "I died…"

Stefan and Damon nod. "Welcome to the afterlife." Damon says with dry humor. Afterlife? Did he mean I was…a vampire?

I shake my head in denial. "No." is all I can manage. Stefan touches my leg, I shake his hand away. "No!" I shout. "I am not a vampire. I can't be." This was impossible. I had _not_ had vampire blood in my system when I'd died. I was sure of it.

"Actually you _can_ be. Meredith Fell _helped_ you." Damon explains. Meredith? The crazy doctor who had been healing her patients with vampire blood? Had she healed me of my concussion? Is that why I was in Transition? All of this was her fault. She had signed my death sentence without even giving me a say…

"No she didn't. How is my being in Transition going to help anyone? It's not like I'm actually going to turn." I struggled, knowing my words were going to hurt them. Yes, the thought of death scared me. And no, I didn't _want_ to die. But, becoming a vampire scares me more. I don't nor have I ever wanted that for myself or anyone I know and I'm not going to become something that I don't _want _to be. On the other hand as I look at Damon and Stefan now…they look so…_hurt_ and I don't want to hurt anyone I love. Could I even take that, dying knowing that my decision had hurt them.

I guess the ultimate question is: Is love greater than fear?


	2. Making and Breaking Promises

**Hey, I am in LOVE with this chapter! I LOVED writing it! Sorry it took so long for an update! R&R please! Thanks -Jess**

No Remedy for Memory

Chapter 2

Making and Breaking Promises

My mind set at the moment was to figure out whether to turn or not…I didn't feel like this would be easy, I hadn't expected it to be I knew it would be hard...this whole messed up love triangle was hard. But, it was for love and love, hard as it may be…was worth it.

The three of us sat in silence. I wanted them to say something I wanted their support…both of them. Finally Stefan met my eyes. "I agree with whatever you choose. Just be sure you're happy with your decision…" I nod, knowing I won't be truly happy with either choice. "Thank you…" I wait a second hoping Damon will, say the same. He doesn't. "Damon?"

He just shakes his head seeing the disappointed look in my eyes. "You _don't_ expect me to agree with him do you? No. I'm not okay with whatever you choose. Neither is he, he's just too fucked up to tell you, because he doesn't want to hurt your feelings. Believe me Elena I don't either but, I'm also not going to lie to you. I _want_ you to live because you have the chance. I know you think were monsters but, if anyone can be what we are and stay them it's you. I don't want you to die because I know that _you_ can _live_ as a vampire…it wouldn't change anything about you. And honestly I don't want everything we've fought for to be for nothing because _you_ are too _scared_. You don't think we were scared going up against Klaus? Up against Katherine? We were but, we still did it. For you. And I hate myself for saying this but, can't you do something for us?"

His words shocked me but, they were exactly what I needed to hear. "He didn't mean that Elena he's just—" I didn't let him finish. "No he did. And he's right. I'm being selfish. You risk your life's every time I need protection…the least I can do is stay alive." I turn to Damon, "I don't want everything you've fought for to be for nothing. This whole war is to keep me alive. I owe all of you. And I'm so sorry…for everything I've put _you_ through." I was addressing Damon at the moment…only Damon. I wanted him to know that I was sorry he'd fought so hard for me and I'd choose Stefan. I love them both…and I honestly didn't want to choose but, if that's what they wanted then I would…even if that meant hurting one of them.

I needed to talk to Damon alone. Right now.

"Stefan…do you mind, going to check on Matt. I don't think I should leave until there are less…people around." He gave me a halfhearted smile and nodded before slipping out of the room quietly.

"Damon, I _am_ sorry. But, _you_ asked me and I told you the truth. I didn't mean…I…don't hate me...please. I can't take it if you hate me." Tears stung my cheeks. He let out a deep breath and wrapped his arms around me. "You're strong Elena you can take anything. Me hating you wouldn't change that. But, for the record I won't ever hate you." He wiped my tears away with his thumb, "You don't have anything to cry about. You got what you want. You have Stefan, and he's gonna be good for you. Just promise me one thing?"

"Anything."

"Don't forget me. Don't forget the older brother who loved you and lost the war. Remember I loved you. But, also promise me you won't let me get in the way of you and him. Promise me you'll be happy when I'm gone."

"Where are you going?" I ask through my tears. He shakes his head. "Just promise me."

"I promise." I look up at him, "I love you."

He laughs halfheartedly, "You've never said that to me before."

"I didn't need to. You knew."

He nods and cups my face in his hands. "I love you too." He says before turning towards the door. I grab his hand, "Where are you going?" I ask again.

"I don't know yet…I'll just start driving and see where I end up."

"Why?"

"Because, you and my brother are the two most important things in my life. I want you to be happy and you two can't be happy together if I'm here to ruin it." He stammers close to tears.

I shake my head, "I can't be happy if you're not here."

"Try it, you might like a Damon free life."

"I won't…" I can barely speak threw my tears now. "Life without you is like life without air…unlivable."

He grabs my face in his hands again. "Elena listen to me. I live everyday seeing the way you look at him. Knowing that loving you is pointless because you love him. Knowing that there is no one who cares wither I live or die. I'm a technical detail Elena, you can't linger on a technical detail. When I leave, you have to keep living because _you _are the only one who's gonna notice that I'm gone."

"No." I say "I'm not. Do you think that leaving will solve all of our problems? It won't it's only gonna make it worse because you won't be here to help me get through it. I need you here Damon."

"Don't you get it Elena? You don't. You don't need me. You have to know that."

I suck in a jagged breath. He was wrong. How could I make him see that? I decide to just go with the flow. No more…sentimental goodbyes. He needed to know that he _was_ needed.

"Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! You don't know what I need! You have _no_ idea how much you mean to me. You don't know at! Telling yourself that I don't need you is your own twisted way of trying to convince yourself to leave. But, I am going to tell you right now. I need you Damon Salvatore. And I will not let you leave because you think it'll make me happy. The only thing you leaving will do is kill me!"

He shakes his head and turns away just to turn back and pull me to him, our lips crash together. Colliding together I'd kissed Damon before…but, not like this. This was passionate, fiery and adventurous. I was aware of nothing except him…until I heard a familiar voice from the door way.

"Elena?" Stefan said with _no_ emotion what so ever.

What had I just done?


	3. Words Unspoken

**Hey, sorry for the long wait on the update! I like this chapter, and I hope you do too! R&R please!**

No Remedy for Memory

Chapter 3

Words Unspoken

An awkward silence followed. It was unbearable…but, it wasn't like _I_ could really say anything. I couldn't say that I'd chosen Damon…because that was a lie. But, I also couldn't say I'd chosen Stefan because he had just seen me kissing his brother. There was no way he'd believe me.

Stefan looked so hurt. So…dead. I know he's undead but, he's never truly look it until now. Right now he looked like he was a living corpse. The color had drained from his face his eyes where cold and glassy…had I done that to him?

"Stefan?" I ask reaching towards him. He pushes himself further away. "Stefan please _don't_ do this." I say taking another step towards him. He pushes himself up against the thick wall of my hospital room. "_You_ did this Elena. I am not at fault for you whoring around with my brother."

"Stefan…I…" what could I say? I couldn't argue with him…_whoring _around with Damon was probably exactly what it had looked like I was doing. Tears found their way into my eyes as I realized there was nothing I could do to fix this. "Stefan?"

"No, Elena I am done with you. I love you. I always will, but I cannot stand the fact that you love him."

I shake my head, after what Damon had said about the way I look at Stefan and knowing that loving me was pointless I was appalled he even tried to be jealous when there was _nothing _for him to be jealous about, I did love Damon and I always would but, I had chosen Stefan and that kiss that kiss was just a plead for him to stay. It wasn't me changing my mind. I loved Stefan it would always be Stefan how come _everyone _knew that except for him?

"You just have to, because I love him and I love you and you both are just going to have to live with it." Those where not the words I had intended to say…that was the truth speaking.

Stefan still looked cold, "I liked it better when you were trying to hide it. Goodbye Elena."

With that he disappeared out the door. His word where echoing through my head, "I liked it better when you were trying to hide it." I had screwed up big time…

I look at Damon, "Don't worry Elena, he's Stefan he can't stay mad at anyone." Damon tried to assure me.

"Damon…" tears were finding their way to my eyes; I hated what I was doing to them both. "I'm sorry. Please tell me you don't hate me too."

He shook his head, "I don't." he said pulling me into a comforting hug, there was nothing romantic about it; he was just trying to make her feel better. "Will you try and find him? Tell him that…" What was I supposed to tell him? I take a deep breath, "Tell him that I never meant to hurt him and that I'm sorry, please Damon, please do this for me." He nodded and kissed my hair, "I will." He said "But, first you need some blood, you won't last much longer."

I nodded. I was absolutely terrified…of drinking human blood. The thought literally repulsed me but, Stefan and Damon needed to know that I thought they were worth living for. And I did. They were always worth living for…always.

…**.**…**.**...

Meredith dropped the bag of scarlet liquid into my hands. The bag read 'O-Positive' Meredith had assured me no one would be missing it because O-positive was the most common blood type. I wanted to throw up as the blood sloshed around in the little hospital bag. I pushed all my worried down as Damon ripped the bag open. The rusty smell invaded my nose making my gums hurt worse than they already had been and at the same time bringing scared tears to my eyes.

How could I be so scared of something I craved so badly?

As the opened bag hit my hands I took one last breath as a human and closed my eyes bringing the bag to my lips and carefully tipping it forward.

At first the liquid was repulsive. I had the urge to throw it at the wall and spit the small amount in my mouth out but, I couldn't and as I continued forcing it down it became more and more appetizing until it got to the point where I was in dire _need_ of the salty red blood. Once the bag was emptied I craved more. Damon made Meredith leave and grabbed another blood bag from the small pile Meredith had left us with. I wanted them all. I wanted to suck down every last drop of the _succulent_ red blood.

I took the bag from Damon and greedily sucked it down enjoying every single drop immensely. I wanted more but Damon had refused.

"Moderation Elena. Two will suffice for now." I didn't want to agree but, I did. I wanted more blood but, I knew that I had to keep the amounts small unless I wanted to become a ripper like Stefan had…

_No, that is not happening. I will not kill a single human. Ever._ I vowed to myself.

The next step was to find Bonnie. Damon had tried calling her but, she hadn't answered. I hope she did soon because right now the only thing I craved more than blood was sunlight. It didn't make since but, I felt like being in the sun was the most human thing I could do.

It was dark right now so, Damon was going to take me home. _Home_. The word sounded almost like a joke…our home was hardly a home at all. We had no adult who lived with us…Jeremy and I where alone and that was how it would be. From now until forever.


	4. Something about the Sunshine

**I really like this chapter! Hope you do too! R&R THANKS!**

No Remedy for Memory

Chapter 4

Something about the Sunshine

I wanted to go with Damon to look for Stefan and Bonnie but he had made me realize that wasn't a very good idea…I could hurt someone. And I knew I would never forgive myself if I did. So I decided I would stay at my house and wait for Damon and Stefan…if he even found Stefan. There was _no_ telling where he went. I had really, really hurt him. Why had I let Damon kiss me? I _wanted_ to be with Stefan. Didn't I? I had only let Damon kiss me because…because…_I loved him._ I couldn't lie anymore. I loved him. I did. But, that didn't mean it wasn't Stefan. That didn't mean that I hadn't chosen right…that just made my choosing that much harder.

I'm sitting alone in my room. Jeremy was out looking for Bonnie. I hated being alone but I was glad he was gone…I was a danger to him now and I had no idea what he might do around him…

I take a deep breath and walk over to my bookshelf retrieving the little blue leather bound journal from its hiding place behind my _very_ hideous ceramic mermaid. It had been so long since I'd written in my diary, holding it now it didn't feel like mine…it felt like a window into someone else's life, someone else's thoughts, someone else's…everything. It held all my memories. All my thoughts. But, it didn't _feel_ like mine. I wasn't the human girl who had written all that stuff down…holding it now…I felt like I was about to read a strangers diary.

I take a deep breath and flip to a clean page.

_Dear Diary,_

_Today I died. Today I left the human girl I used to be behind and became a monster. A vampire. It's funny nothing feels the same. I see my stuff. I know my room. I know these things are mine but, no matter how much I try to feel a connection to them…I can't. It's like walking into a stranger's house; everything feels new and old at the same time. Like I know that someone loves these things. That someone cherished them all…but, I…I don't. I don't care about any of these things. I don't know them. They are just things. And I want to. I want to know them. I want to find a human connection with just one of them. But, I don't. I have the memories connected to them I remember where I got them and when but, I don't care about them. If someone stole them all I wouldn't care. I hope it's not like this with people…I hope I still cherish my friends. It'll kill me if I don't. I cherished seeing Jeremy before he left. I hadn't been able to touch him for fear of hurting him…but I wanted to. I wanted to hug him as tight as I could and never let him go but, he was my brother would it be the same with Bonnie? Caroline? It had been the same with Damon and Stefan I still loved them…I hoped to god that I still had a connection to my other friends, if I didn't I had no idea who I would be because, I wouldn't be Elena Gilbert. Not without my friends…_

I take a deep breath unable to continue. I didn't want to think about not having a connection to my friends…the thought was unbearable.

I look out my window…the rose-pink first light of dawn was beginning to show on the horizon. Where was Damon? Shouldn't he have found Stefan and been back by now? I sigh and pad over to my window to close the curtains. I continue this routine throughout the house closing all the curtains and shutting all the blinds. By the time I finish the sun is high enough to burn and as I pull the last curtains together in the kitchen my hand gets singed. _Fuck_. I think holding my hand, but as soon as it arrived the pain leaves and my hand is clean of all burns.

_Hugh, healing quickly is sure useful when you're me…_

A knock at the door startled me. I inch down the front hall hiding by the staircase I can't get the door or I'll burn. "Elena, it's me. Unlock the door and then step away slowly." Oh, thank god. It was Damon. "Uh, okay…" I say wondering where Stefan and Bonnie were. I step forward quickly and flip the lock on the door and then I resume my place by the stairs. "Come in."

Damon opens and shuts the door in a blur. He's alone.

"Where are Stefan and Bonnie?" I ask curiously.

"Well, my brother has officially disappeared. I checked everywhere. Saint Stefan has left the building. And as for Bonnie, no dice. She's gone too." He shrugged, I shot him a worried look, this was crazy Stefan and Bonnie were both gone?

"What am I going to do?"

"I'll just have to keep looking, I'll find Bonnie. I promise."

"Thank you, Damon."

He winks, "So, you've been alone all night. You must be lonely?"

"A little." I'm about to cry now, this heightened emotions shit is killing me. I feel so lonely. I feel like Stefan hates me. I feel like Bonnie is ignoring me. And I feel like a hermit who's living under a rock and hasn't seen the sun in ages. I hate all these feelings. I hate them so much. I want them to leave and stay gone. Obviously my worry, hate and frustration is showing because Damon is giving me a concerned stare. "Are you alright?"

"No…no I'm not. I'm not alright. I want to go _out_ in the sun. I want to crave _normal_ food. I want to be _human_."

"Hey," he gives me a tight hug, "its okay. I promise you these feelings will pass. Just breathe Elena. Just breathe." I take a few deep breaths letting myself go. Letting all of my conflicted emotions go. And then I remember something. Isobel. Her necklace…

When Isobel had committed suicide, she'd thrown her necklace on the ground in front of her grave and I'd picked it up… I don't really know why, I had just slipped it into my pocket almost unconsciously. Like I wanted something to remember her by…just one little thing…I still had it, collecting dust in the bottom drawer of my dresser. Would it work for me? "Damon, Isobel's necklace. I have Isobel's necklace, from when she died. I picked it up. Would it work? If I put it on would I be able to go out in the sun?" I say excitedly.

"I don't know. Do you want to try?"

I nod, I could test it on my hand or something small that will heal, I dart up the stairs and begin rummaging around through my drawer. It doesn't take long to find it, it's a smoky grey peal dangling from a silver chain there are a few dainty diamonds joining the pearl and the chain. I never noticed how beautiful it was. I hadn't even looked at it since the day I put it in here. "May I?" Damon says coming up behind me. I nod, "You may." I say holding the bauble out to him, he takes it and swiftly moving my hair away from my neck latches it. "I hope this works…" I mumble to myself.

"That makes two of us." He says matching my tone perfectly.

I stagger over to the window and slid the curtain back just an inch. I stick my finger in the ray of morning sun…no burning. No pain. It's unbelievably…normal and I love it!

I touch the necklace before opening the curtains fully. I can't actually feel they sunlight but, I want to so badly I do. I can remember what it feels like and that is heaven enough.

"Now, that you can go out in the sun. Would you like to go have some _human_ fun outside?"

I smile, "I would like that very much!" I say with so much enthusiasm I think I may explode.


	5. The Prize

**Really cute chapter I think. It was VERY fun to write! LOVED it! Sorry for the wait I've been busy! :) R&R! The more review the more chapters!**

No Remedy for Memory

Chapter 5

The Prize

Damon led me by the hand out the front door and into my yard. It was beautiful outside the morning air was warm and the sun was particularly bright, the scene was almost majestic. I take in a deep breath, and my lungs fill with the fresh morning air. I can feel the smile rising on my face. I'm so full of joy I don't even notice Damon is no longer standing beside me until; I'm hit with a steady stream of cold water.

"What the hell!" I screech turning around to see Damon with the water hose.

"Damon!" I say racing over to him at vampire speed and grabbing the hose, tilting it up so that the water hits him straight in the face. He pushes his hands out blocking the water, and snatches the hose away from me playfully making the cold water hit me in the chest. I laugh and take the hose back, taking revenge by spraying his chest too. Damon winks and disappears around the corner of the house I catch up with him and spray him again this time on his back. He turns towards me and grabs the hose away soaking my hair to my toes in ice cold water. I open my eyes wide, my mouth agape as the water drips off my hair and lands on my now totally soaked white tee. Which because of the fact that it is totally soaked makes my lacey black bra extremely prominent. I shrug off the fact that Damon is looking at me like a stripper swinging around a shiny pole in sexy lingerie and tug the hose away from him spraying down the side of his body. He inches away his whole left side dripping in freezing cold water. Then he laughs, "I came out on top." He jokes.

I cover my chest with my arms and roll my eyes. "I'm sure you did."

He smiles and snatches the water hose out of my hands spraying me till I lose my balance and slip to the ground. I laugh as I hit the wet ground beneath me, "Need some help?" Damon offers extending a hand, "Nope." I say pulling him down beside me. That plan backfires just a bit cause he ends up falling on top of me, it doesn't hurt and because I don't immediately push him off of me he makes a snarky comment, "Now, now Elena calm down. I do expect at least a first date before we go that far." I of course roll my eyes and push him off me. He splashes to the muddy ground and laughs. I love his laugh, I barely hear it. It's a shame too, because his laugh makes me smile. And that is a rare sight these days.

He must have noticed how deep in thought I was because he felt the need to ask a Damon-ey, "What?"

"I just like hearing you laugh." I breathe, he smiles "I like seeing you smile. You have a nice smile."

"Thanks." I say smiling for his benefit. "You know you don't make things easy." He says his smile fading.

"What do you mean?"

"You are so, full of life. You make people want to be around you. That's the problem, I want to be around you and I shouldn't because you're taken. And I try to force myself away but it's not easy."

"Don't. Please don't force yourself away. I don't want you to go away…ever."

"I know. You made that very clear in the hospital room. But, I can't come between you and Stefan. I won't."

"Damon…I don't even know if there's anything to come between anyway. I'm not the girl I was when I choose. My own _diary _doesn't even feel like it's mine. How am I supposed to know if I still love him when he hasn't been around to love. But, I _do_ love you. I _still_ love you. I know that, and right now that is the only thing I _really _know." I don't even realize that I'm close to tears until I finish. I can't let him see me cry. I can't let him know that I'm this fragile. I want to be strong. I want to be the old Elena who didn't cry just because Damon was going to leave…and it sucked but…I was. I was the Elena who cried because he was threatening to leave. I was this fragile little girl who never really got to live…All of my emotions come crashing down on me. Hate. Love. Fear. And I feel like running away. That's exactly what I do. Run away and close the door behind me racing upstairs.

_I hate emotions. I hate them. I hate them. I hate them. I want to turn them off. I want them to go away…forever._ I think as I pace across my room, a few seconds later my bedroom door swings and Damon is standing in the door way. "Elena…" he says trying to turn me towards him, I'm like a child hands clamped over my face trying to ignore his pleads. Feet glued to the floor. I am not going to budge.

"Elena, I know, I know that your emotions are all over the place and you don't know what to do. But, let me help you. Please."

I slowly uncover my eyes and find myself immediately in Damon's waiting arms. I clutch the fabric of his damp shirt and cry, "I want to turn them off, tell me how to turn them off." I mumble.

He shakes his head, "No, I won't let you do that. You don't want to turn them off. I promise it's hell. I won't let you do that." He whispers.

"Please, please Damon it hurts. It hurts my head."

"Shhh, shhh." He coos softly, touching my hair, I relax crying into his shirt. Eventually he moves me over to the bed, and lets me cry myself to sleep.

I wake up a few hours later, and find that he's asleep beside me, I push on his shoulder and he jolts awake. He yawns, "Oh, hey."

"Hey…" I say a little embarrassed about how I acted. "I'm sorry about…exploding. That was…uncalled for."

"Nah, your Elena Gilbert. You deserve a few good mental break downs." He jokes half serious.

"Thanks for being here." He smiles, "Your Elena, I'm Damon. I'm always here…in the background waiting for a chance to steal the show."

I laugh, "Nice performance."

"Thank you very much, Miss." He says with a hint of sarcasm.

Our eyes connect and it's quiet for a moment, then I speak up, "You know, this is your chance Damon. To really steal the show, you've already stolen the prize…"

He cocks his head to the side, "And what would that be?"

My answer is a short one but, it means so much to me that he hears it. "My heart."


	6. Holy Crap

**Hey! Sorry for the wait. Minimal writers block. Uh, I changed the whole Tyler thing. It'll be explained in the next chapter! Thanks for the lovely reviews! They're awesome. Remember I WILL update WAY sooner if I get more reviews! They're my motivations. PS check out the title of this chapter! Yep that was all I could think off for the epicness that is chapter 6! It was SO fun to write! So R&R PLEASE! LOVE U! . -BornForThe70's**

No Remedy for Memory

Chapter 6

Holy Crap

He stares at me for a moment, and then says, "I wouldn't be the first."

I shake my head, "No, you wouldn't be. But, you could be the last." I say hopefully. He shakes his head, "I want to be. Believe me I do, but it wouldn't be fair." I give him a confused look. Since when does Damon play fair? He's never played fair. Ever.

"Since when do you play fair?"

"Since, Stefan is my brother and we both love you. I have to give him a fighting chance." When is he going to get it? "No, you don't he lost his chance when he left me in that hospital room. You took it."

"He was mad Elena. When he calms down he won't leave your side for years, I'm sure. He loves you and you might be a vampire now but, somewhere in there you love him too. The same way you did when you were human. True love doesn't fade Elena. That's why it's called _true_ love." He says pushing me away again. I'm not letting him do that. "Your right true love doesn't fade. True love wants the best for you and loves you so much they would tear the world apart to keep you alive. True love is complicated and dangerous. It's an adventure and it's passionate. Damon you compelled me to get everything I want. And I did. But, not with Stefan. Damon I found everything I was looking for…with _you_."

"No, you didn't." he stops seeming to know that what he's about to say isn't like him. He shakes his head and continues. "I love you Elena. Don't believe for one second that I don't, but you didn't find anything with me…because you don't _know _me. My personality, sure but, how well do you know _me_? The things I like? My favorite song? Movie? Color?" I blink unsure of what to say. Then it came to me. And I find myself smiling at him. "Your right we really don't know each other very well. That's my fault. I didn't want to know you. I didn't what to get close to you because I believed that if I did it met that Stefan was _really, really_ gone. And maybe he is now. Maybe not, I don't care because I realize now that…I want to. I want to know you because how can you even get a fair chance if I have no idea who you are? You want to give Stefan a fair chance…but, you haven't even had one yet."

"I don't deserve—" I cut him off jumping off my bed and coming to stand above him, making sure he hears me _this_ time, "I love you. To me you deserve the world. Don't you dare think otherwise? Now, help me get to know you." I say with a smirk pulling him off the bed. "What does Damon Salvatore like?"

He smirks, "Dancing." He winks twirling me around and catching me in his arms gracefully. Placing my face just inches away from his, I want to kiss him so badly and he knows it he smiles seductively and twirls me back around so that I'm standing in front of him. "Running," he said disappearing in a blur and then reappearing a moment layer with a single red rose which he tucks behind my ear after teasingly dragging its soft red petals down my cheek. Lastly he smiles at me, metaphorically making my un-beating heart flutter. And steps close to me, I take him in smelling his clone as he grabs me around my waste effortlessly pulling me to him and whispers, "You." I can't help it anymore I throw myself into his arms kissing him hungrily. Wanting him to feel the love radiating from me, so that he knows my intentions are pure. We crash onto the bed as he kisses my neck, my ears, my shoulders lightly and passionately. I let out a soft moan as he slides him hands under my almost dry tee shirt and caressing my breasts which are still safely incased in my sexy black bra, we sit up and I pull my shirt over my head watching as he does the same we continue striping until it's skin on skin. Both our bodies' heat mixing together creating the perfect atmosphere for a Brittney Spears music video, it's perfect. Just how I always imagined it would be.

….

Three words: Best. Sex. Ever.

As if his looks weren't enough, he was amazing in bed. I hate to say it but, Damon had Stefan beat.

He is one talented man.

I smile as I tug on my white shirt. "I'd say that went well." Damon says sarcastically. I smile "I'd have to agree."

"How could you not?" he jokes I push him lightly. "Come on Elena, admit it I'm better than my brother." He teased, I comply "You are just…don't tell him that." He laughs and tugs me into the hall before placing a gentle kiss on my lips. That's when it all goes to hell.

Damon and I are kissing all smiles and giggling when all of the sudden, Stefan comes crashing through the hall window, "You fucking bastard. You slept with my girlfriend?" Damon shakes his head, "Nope, your girlfriend slept with me. I guess I'm just more fun Stef." I glance at Damon before stepping in between Stefan and Damon because Stefan literally looks like he's drained a thousand humans dry and is ready for a total Damon massacre. "Stay out of this whore!" Stefan hisses. Pushing me forcefully sending me over the banister. Causing me to crash into the floor, Damon is beside me instantly, "Are you okay?" he asks getting that cute worried look in his ice blue eyes. "I'm fine. Vampire now, remember?" I say whipping some blood off of my lip. He nods and opens his mouth to say something but, his words are stolen by Stefan who crashes into him sending them both crashing through my front door. "What the hell man, I get your mad but, seriously? You get to replace her door." Damon says getting to his feet Stefan looks just as surprised as Damon, "That wasn't me. I mean it was me but, I didn't do it on purpose…I was thrown into you."

"Hello, love." The three of us hear from the top floor we look up spotting Klaus who's standing at the top of the stairs looking down on us. "If this competition is over Elena, I win." He says his British accent flaring up, "Now if you don't mind I'll be claiming my prize." Damon dashes over to where I had been sitting only to find that I am now being held tightly by Klaus. Even though his hand is clamped over my mouth, I can tell Damon can hear my useless scream for help because he begins up the stairs, "Nuh, uh, uh" he says reveling a sharp wooden stake from his jacket pocket. "one more step and dopplevamp gets a stake to the heart." I squirm in his arms upon seeing it. I may not be too pleased about becoming a vampire but, I don't have a death wish.

Damon looks at Klaus unsurely, "You won't hurt her."

"Why not? She's a vampire now. Practically useless to me." He says bring the stake closer to my heart, I squirm more trying everything to get out of his death grip.

Klaus nods at Damon, "Good boy. Now, Damon, Stefan don't follow me and yes that is a warning. Bye now boys. Want to wave to your lovely boys love?" he hisses in my ear, I raise my hand and wave, weak and restrained under his iron grip. "Why do you need her? You just said it yourself she's useless to you now."

"Oh, Damon, that's exactly why I need her. I'm going to make her, useful to me again." I'm crying now. What does he mean? I continue to scream as Klaus swings me up into his arms and begin to run at vampire speed away from my house…and Damon.


	7. The Search: Part 1

**Sorry for the wait! Hope you like it! Read and review! Reviews are love! Thanks to all my readers! I love you! BTW The next chapter is half way done so, it shouldn't take that long also if your reading my story Wrinkles in Time (DAMON/ELENA BTW) that chapter will be up rather soon also along with New Beginnings although that on will be short! And chapter 2 of Changing colors will be up soon too! :) Sorry about the wait! :) Thank you all! R&R -BornForThe70's**

No Remedy for Memory

Chapter 7

The Search: Part 1

**Damon's POV (1****st**** person)**

Why? Why did Klaus need Elena? What the hell did he mean by he was going to make her useful to him again? He better not be planning to make her a sex toy or I swear I will find a way to kill that hybrid bastard even if I die too.

"What does that mean?" I ask my brother even though I can tell he is still furious with me for doing Elena, I know that he cares to much about her not to help find her. "How the hell would I…..oh no." Stefan says in realization. "What?" I hiss at him, he remains silent, "WHAT?" I demand again, he glances up at me a sick look on his face. "When I went to get the antidote for you before I left, Klaus said I was useless to him the way I was he wanted a…" he closes him eyes and takes a deep breath, "a ripper. Klaus is going to make Elena a ripper."

I shake my head, "She doesn't have it in her Stefan. Elena couldn't be a ripper if she wanted to be. She's not vamp enough." Stefan looks up at me, "I never said she'd do it willingly. He's an Original, Damon he'll compel her. He doesn't give a shit if it's what she wants or not."

I knew that already, I'm not an idiot, I just don't want to believe that Klaus has that kind of power over us. I don't want him to be able to compel us. Were vampires for crying out loud shouldn't that be a perk? It usually is but, I want to know why the fuck the Originals get to compel us? I mean all perks have there down sides but, come on. "This is so fucked up. We have to find her, we have to stop him, before he does anything we can't control. How the hell is he here anyway? He's dead."

Stefan rubbed his temples, "Dead is a _very_ complicated word these days."

I scoff, "I liked it better when dead meant _dead_."

"Damon dead hasn't met dead in a 1000 years." I roll my eyes, this is the world we live in. Where dead doesn't even mean dead.

Just as I was contemplating the ways we could find Elena, the witch bursts through the hole where the door used to be, "Where's Elena?" she shouts at us, we stare at her with confused looks on our faces. "Come on where the hell is she?" she screams again. I draw in a breath, "Klaus took her." Bonnie covered her mouth tears were testing their limits at the rims of her eyes and she begins breathing heavily, "Is there something we should know Bonnie?"

"This is my fault…" she murmured over and over again. I grab her by the shoulders and shake her, "What did you do Bonnie?"

She sniffled one more time and cleared her throat, "I, helped Klaus. He, came to me when he found out that Alaric was a vampire and asked me if I would help protect him. I said yes. I saved him when he died and transferred his soul into Tyler's body. He was Tyler for a really short time before I was able to…resurrect his body and switch him back. But, he promised me that if I helped him he wouldn't hurt her, he wouldn't hurt any of you." I couldn't believe what I was hearing, this little witch thought _Klaus_ would keep his word? What the hell? Since when did Bonnie catch a case of stupid? Bonnie is one of the more sensible people that I know, even though she's extra bitchy with a side of bitch and bitch sprinkles she's not an idiot like oh I don't know Stefan or Jeremy. She's always had some common since so why did she choose to help Klaus, our number one enemy?

"What the hell is wrong with you? Why would you help him? He has done nothing but, fuck with our lives since he showed up here and you thought that all of the sudden you could trust him? When in hell did we start trusting anything Klaus said?" I shout. I'm so confused right now I'm about to implode. I need some freaking answers. Now.

"It was to save you. All of you. He created your blood line and I knew with Ric out there he would always be in danger. I couldn't let Elena lose you guys. She loves you. I don't know why I trusted him but, I did and now it's my fault he's taken her." I breath in deeply, she had a good reason I'll give her that. And her reason kept me, Elena and my brother alive so I owed her a thank you. Which she probably won't get anytime soon.

Then Stefan clears his throat, "Is Tyler okay? Did this little spell kill him?"

Bonnie rolls her eyes, "No of course not. I'd never let a spell I preformed kill someone I care about. He's fine back to himself, and he doesn't remember a thing. So let's not worry about him, let's concentrate on finding Elena, I was thinking we could perform a locator spell with Jeremy's blood and track her that way and then the two of you can, do what you do. Save her like always."

"Let's do it, Bonnie call Jeremy. Do the spell. Stefan and I will get some of Alaric's weapons call us when you find her." I say clamping my hands together; Stefan nods and we begin the vigorous search for Elena Gilbert.


	8. The Search: Part 2

**I like this chapter! I hope you do too! I've never written in Bonnie's POV before so please do hate on it too much. I told you that I almost had this chapter done so here it it ten minutes later! R&R pretty pretty please! Thanks! bye! -BornForThe70's**

No Remedy for Memory

Chapter 8

The Search: Part 2

**Elena POV (1****st**** person)**

My eyes flutter open slowly. I feel so weak like I haven't slept in _years_. I try to move but, my body aches with every flinch, I let out a whimper. Where am I? I ask myself as I take in my surroundings, I'm in a fairly large room with cream walls and gold French molding, there's a fire place on one walls and a few chairs most covered in white sheets. It looked like no one had been there in ages. The smell of dust lingered in the stale air, I cough as I inhale the new staleness. I pull on my arms and a sharp pain hits me like a car. Holy shit what they hell it that? I ask myself tilting my head with great difficulty so that I can see my arm what I see takes me by surprise. I'm hanging from the ceiling bear traps inclosing my wrists tightly. Oh, my god.

The reality of this situation begins to set in as a figure emerges from the shadows, "Well, hello love. I'm glad you decided to wake up." Klaus says laughing evilly. I shudder as the memories flood back, Stefan, Damon the fight…Klaus forcing me away from them. "Klaus?" I manage threw the unbearable pain. He smiles, "Yes love I'm back. And I can assure you, you won't be getting rid of me so easily this time." he says tugging on the chain fiercely making me scream out in agony.

"Why…are you…doing…this? Why can't…you just leave…me…alone." I mumble breathing jaggedly. "Oh, but, sweetheart what fun would that be?" he says with another evil smile. "Plus, I plan too just as soon as we get this horrid vervain out of your system."

"What…vervain?" I manage feeling like a very pissed off zombie. I'm pretty sure I already know what vervain. He must have injected me with a butt load because I feel more dead than I already am. "Oh, why darling the vervain I had to put in you to calm you down. You are one feisty thing you are but, no vampire can overcome a gallon of vervain. Feeling better yet? No? I don't suppose you would we haven't begun curing you yet."

"Curing?" I ask weakly. He nods producing a severely sharp kitchen knife from his pocket. He study's it carefully for a minute before suddenly running the sharp blade from my right shoulder to my left hip bone. I scream in pain before my scream is even done her does the same to the other side and then slits all of my major arteries. "You should heal rather quickly I'll say we'll have to do this six time before your blood is clean? But, don't worry love, it only hurts a lot." He says slicing my cheek for good measure before throwing the knife to the floor and plopping himself down into one of the sheet covered chairs. "Take your time healing if you want love, even if your boys do find you they won't be here in time. We are very, very far away from Mystic Falls I promise."

All I can do is give him a dirty look because I'm all out of energy and talking won't help me heal.

**Bonnie POV (1****st**** person)**

Damon and Stefan had left to get Alaric's supplies an hour ago and I was sitting with Jeremy in the Gilberts living room flipping through the Grimoire trying to avoid eye contact. Jeremy was so mad at me right now the tension in the room was unbearable but, we managed because we both wanted to save Elena.

It's not like I don't know what I did wasn't completely air tight. I knew the risk but, I also knew that I could either save Klaus thus saving my Mom, Caroline, Elena, Damon, Tyler and Stefan or sit around and do nothing. I took the chance and I'm glad that I did because if I hadn't they'd all be dead and I'd be sitting here crying in a black dress after attending the worlds saddest funeral ever. I know why there mad but, honestly it could be worse. All of them being dead would defiantly be worse than this and if Elena where here I think she would agree. In fact I know she would.

I stop flipping, I found the page. "I've got it give me your hand." I tell Jeremy he does so willingly and I begin to recite the spell. As this is happening I cut his and a squeeze three drops of blood onto the map spread out below us. The blood begins to move much farther than either of us expected, it finally comes to stop…in Maine.

"Maine?" Jeremy asks, I nod, "Maine." I repeat. "Can we get anything more distinct?"

I nod, "Sure if you get me a map of Maine." He smiles for a spilt second and then leaves the room returning a moment later with a map of Maine. "Did you forget that my dad collected maps?" I nod slightly and he shrugs "So did Elena." He says spreading it out onto the table. We repeat the process and the blood finds its way to a small town, "Xavier, Maine."

I nod, "I'll call Damon." I say pulling out my phone and scrolling through the contacts till I find Damon's, he answers on the first ring. "She's in Xavier, Maine."

"Maine? That's like a fourteen hour drive. Fun." He scoffs, "We're on our way right now. Operation rescue Elena is in full bloom." I nod to myself and then say, "Good luck, try not to get yourselves killed."

"Will do boss lady." Damon says disconnecting the call.

With a deep breath I slide my phone into my back pocket and rejoin Jeremy on the couch, "There going to get her now. She'll be fine Jer." I say touching his hand he pulls away, I shake my head, "I was just trying to comfort you Jeremy. No harm done."

He scoffs, "No harm done? That is the understatement of the year. Everything you have done today has caused nothing but harm to everyone I care about. So yeah, no harm done hugh?" he says getting up and leaving the room. A tear trickles down my cheek, and I'm left there knowing everything he said is true.


	9. Bloody Hell, Literally

**Okay, so here it is the next chapter which is VERY long for my usual chapters 2,702 words I do believe! I like it a lot! Ripper Elena's day-view! I think you guys will really like her I decided to make her a lot like Katherine as well as Peeta from the Hunger Games except (if you've read the books) like he is in Mocking Jay. You know all re-learning and he doesn't know anyone like he used to. I mean on some level but just not on all! I bet you'll like her! As always R&R! :) I'm looking forward to the reviews for this chapter! :) Esta La Vista -BornForThe70's**

No Remedy for Memory

Chapter 9

Bloody Hell, Literally.

**Stefan POV (1****st**** person)**

We drove in silence the whole way there not one word. It's not that I didn't want to talk to my brother it's just that I didn't want to talk to my brother. Why would I? I mean he slept with Elena. I knew it'd happen eventually but, now of all times? Does this mean she chose? Do I even want to know what this means? No, not really in fact I'm all for never talking about it again and leaving silently in the middle of the night. Why not? At least then Damon will be happy and Elena can fuck with my brother as much as she wants. Who fucking cares anymore? I don't. Not anymore I have played this game for far too long. I will not be Elena's puppet anymore. Not anymore.

**Damon POV (1****st**** person)**

At this point all I wanted to do was get Elena back. I didn't want to talk to anyone especially _not_ my brother. I didn't have anything to say to him. At all. Yeah, I slept with Elena. Fuck with it. It was bound to happen sometime. And for the record it was awesome. She's the most amazing person I have ever met and I've wanted her since the day I met her. It's not really that bad that I finally get what I want. It's not something that happens very often. I gave Stefan three years with her. Three years to have her all to himself. And if he hasn't won her heart by now then, it's not going to happen.

I won't say I didn't make it a little hard for him but, she fell for me on her own. No one forced her into anything.

And I sure as hell wasn't letting Stefan force her _out_ of anything out of guilt for him. No more switching sides for her. If it's me then it better be me. End of story.

**Elena POV (1****st**** person)**

I cringe as Klaus cuts into the last artery. "There, there love. This is number six. No more. Next I get to have some fun." He looks like he expects me to reply but, I'm so drained I couldn't even if I wanted to…

"Oh come on, love. You can be more fun than that." Klaus says smirking evilly.

I shake my head weakly unable to feel most of my limbs.

"I think you can." I draw in a jagged breath of air, "What fun…" I let out a small whimper of pain at the end. Believe it or not your skin stitching its self-back together hurts a little after the fifth time. "I was thinking blood. Lots and lots of blood. I'll share some with you of course. We'll divide up the town. You get half I get half?" My gums ache at the mention of blood. I neglected to drink yesterday and now I was dying of thirst. Klaus had been making jokes about massacring the entire town the whole time I've been here and at this point it was beginning to sound rather appetizing. _No!_ I tell myself _No. You are not going to kill anybody. No one…ever. You just can't. It's not you. Damon was supposed to teach you. Help you learn. Calm yourself down and see what he's trying to turn you into. You are __**not**__ that vampire. No. You are not a killer. _This is what the human part of me is screaming and at the moment I just want to turn it off. Why keep it on? _Humanity sucks. It's weak and you are a vampire. You are strong and unflawed. Killing is a part of you. Embrace it. Don't push it away. You can be without this you know? Without a conscience. You won't feel this pain. All you'll feel is strength. What else is there?_ That was the other voice in my head. That was the vampire. The cold blooded un-human killer. It was quieter than the human part of me. But, it was stronger. Using the silence as an advantage like a true predator. And it was winning.

I hated knowing that but, it was to true to ignore. I wanted the blood. I wanted to kill. But, even though I wanted all of those things the thing I really longed for had not changed. Damon. I knew he was on his way to save me. I knew he'd come. He always did. He has never once let me down. I didn't expect this time would be any different. He'd come for me.

I started to relax at the last of the wounds closed. I could breathe again and I no longer felt so weighed down. "Are you ready to come down from there, sweetheart?" Klaus asked, I roll my eyes, "Yes." I say emotionlessly. He pulls my face close to his, making sure our eyes meet, "Then you _will_ behave." He compelled. "I will behave." I hear myself repeat.

He pulls away from me and smiles, "Good." He says sounding pleased as he unlocks the bear traps incasing my hands. I drop to the ground landing on my knees, still unable to support my weight. After a few minutes the bloody gashes around my wrists begin to heal but, I'm still weak…I need blood…soon.

I manage to get to my feet, Klaus approaches me with a bundle of clothes. "Put these on. They will be an improvement." I look down at my sliced white tee shirt and shredded black bra. I nod not really having any other options. "There's a bathroom down the hall. I expect the whole ensemble Miss. Gilbert. Make up included, you want to look nice for your boys." My eyes lighten up. Damon and Stefan are coming…and Klaus knew which met he had a plan. I hated knowing there was a plan. A plan for Klaus probably included killing everyone I cared about.

"Oh, and one more thing," he held up Isobel's necklace. I reached for the place it had rested on my neck upon seeing it…it was gone, obviously. "Stay away from the windows love."

I roll my eyes and start towards the bathroom.

Once inside I take a look at the clothes I was given. I hold up the first object, which to my surprise is a full length cream dress, it almost looked like a wedding dress. Almost. There was a nude strapless bra also and a pair of nude eight inch heals with a red highlight on the bottom. The makeup I'd been given was all designer, expensive brands, and very…formal. Like everything else I had to wear. I'd been given edgy eye shadows that were dark and used to make a smoky eye and thick blood red lip stick. _Predictable._ On the bottom of the pile there was a plush navy blue towel which I had hoped were a pair of blue jeans at first…my bad for thinking Klaus was actually reasonable. There was a shower in the corner with some shampoo and conditioner. A blow dryer sat on the counter as did a curling iron and a hair brush.

I roll my eyes looks like I'm expected to get all dressed up. I glance at myself in the mirror, and I have to stop myself from screaming. I look like a victim from Saw. My clothes are bloody my hair is matted and also drenched in blood and my arms and legs are stained with a thin coat of dried blood. I cover my mouth with my hands, it's hard to believe that this tattered bloody little girl is a vampire and not the victim of one…

I quickly strip off my old clothes and climb into the shower letting the water wash over me. I scrub off all the blood and with much effort am able to get the sticky blood out of my hair. Once I look like I normally do _before_ I get in the shower I start to work the knots out of my hair and shave my legs.

As I climb out of the shower relief floods through me not only do I look and feel clean but, there's and fresh new bag of blood on the counter. I grab it and bring it to my mouth careful not to spill a drop. I smile as I finish it off. Feeling reborn and fresh. I take a deep breath and begin drying my hair, after that I curl it and put on my makeup. After I finish with that I slide on the cream dress and the pumps, which don't feel quite as high as I imagine they would have when I was human. I glance at myself in the mirror. Perfection, pure and ultimate perfection. I decide with a nod before exiting into the hall way and finding my way back to Klaus.

He smiles at me obviously pleased with my appearance. "Fabulous." He says with a smirk. "And just in time. Your boys are here." Joy over takes me and I feel like running to them. To him. To Damon.

"Wait one moment please, Elena." I glance up at him. "You will be allowed to talk to them but, you must make it clear not to try and save you. I will kill them if they do. However I won't kill them if they wait till I leave. Now will you tell them that and then return to me and I will instruct you further. Is that clear?" I nod, he won't kill them and he was leaving. It sounded wonderful.

Suddenly there's a knock at the door. "Elena answer that will you. They're here." I smile and race to get it. Swinging the door opened to find Damon and Stefan standing there in attack mode. They soften immediately once they see me. "Elena?" Damon asks, I nod and melt into his arms. "You're okay." He whispers, it sounds more like a statement then a question but, I answer anyway. "I'm fine. I'm fine" I say into his shoulder. I pull his face down to my level and kiss him, it's just a peck but, Stefan's eyes are still on us. I pull back from Damon quickly. I know I've chosen but, pushing Damon away around Stefan is a force of habit.

"You look beautiful." Damon says stepping back to look at me more closely. "Thank you." I say smoothing the cream fabric with my hands. I look up at him, "Klaus likes being complicated." I take a deep breath "Speaking of Klaus…he has something planned. I'm not sure what but, whatever it is its not good. I know he's going to do _something _to me but, I have no idea what." Damon looks like he wants to kill Klaus and everyone he's ever met right now… "Damon," I warn, "you have to promise not to try and save me. He'll kill you if you do. But, he's leaving as soon as it's done and he says you can save me then…Please. Whatever he does…don't interfere. I will never forgive you if you get yourself killed over me…" he looks confused, "Did he compel you Elena?" he asks. "No. No, Damon this is me. All me. I am begging you. Don't interfere."

"What? No, Elena I can't just sit back and watch him turn you into a ripper. I won't." he words come as a shock to me. "What?" I had no idea that was his intention…and the fact that it may be scares me but, I stand by what I said. Damon opens his mouth to explain but, I place my finger to his lips. "It doesn't matter what he does to me. Just make sure neither of you," I look at Stefan for the first time since the pair arrived, "try to stop him. I couldn't bear the thought of one of you getting killed."

Stefan begins to protest, "Elena, you can't be okay with him making you a—" I cut him off. "I'm not…but, I'm not going to let him kill either of you. And he won't if you just wait it out." I glance at them both, "Save me. Don't let me hurt you okay?" they nod. And I grab both of their hands and pull them into a big hug. I have a feeling it's the last one I'll be getting for a while. Tears are aching to spill out of my eyes now. But, I force the down. I need to stay strong. Even though I'm scared, I know if I cry they'll be tempted to save me…and they can't do that. No matter how much I might want them too.

I take a deep breath and turn to Damon. "I love you…so much." I say taking his hand in mine for a few seconds before dropping it. I can hear Klaus behind me. "Come here love." I glance back at him. I said I'd tell them not to save me I never said I wouldn't try to save myself. I take a deep breath and dart up the marble stairs to my left. Moving at vampire speed when I run into a heavily draped window, the windows drapes are parted allowing light to flow into my face. Instantaneously I begin to burn. Dammit. I forgot Klaus had my necklace. I stammer back into the shadows. Allowing my face to heal before I look down to where Klaus is standing below. He's dangling my necklace between his index finger and his thumb. "Behave love. That's all I asked."

I take deep breath and drop from the banister to the marble floor under me landing steadily on my stilettos as it they were my bare feet. I walk over to him slowly, when I reach him he smiles and suddenly is holding me by my neck a few inches above the floor. He holds me there for a moment before slamming me into the floor. The marble tiles crack as I hit them and a harsh pain shoots threw me, I screech in agony. Klaus glances at Damon who looks like he's ready to pounce. "Women, oh so spontaneous." He laughs before looking deep into my eyes and swinging me up onto my feet. I cringe as he sets me down my back it still throbbing from the impact of hitting the floor. "Did that hurt?" he asks, I shake my head, unable to say no because of the killer grip he had on my neck. "No? Oh, but I think it did." He loops his arms around my neck and fastens my necklace behind my hair. He doesn't move his arms instead he takes a hold of my hair and pulls it upward, "How about that." I shake my head again. He smiles. "You can turn it off you know. Shut out the humanity and let yourself really live. Come on Elena, take a walk on the wild side."

"Never!" I scream before I'm distracted once again by a vigorous tug on my hair which causes me to crash to the floor forced to follow my hair for fear of him pulling it out. He binds down and pulls my face up to his our eyes meeting. "You will take a walk on the wild side. SHUT IT OFF!" he commands, I feel the humanity slip away from me. I have no control over it. It'll be completely gone soon. Klaus smiles knowing this. "You are and always will be a ripper, love. Now, have fun but leave a few humans for the rest of us." He commands again. All my beliefs are changing. Humans are the enemy. They are bad and they don't deserve to live. Worthless, lesser life forms.

No worries soon they will be extinct…

What? What is happening. No! This isn't me I can't think that way. I am not a ripper. I won't be I can't be…I am. I am a ripper and it is magnificent. Blood. I want blood. Need blood. I live for it. No, correction the kill. I live for the kill.

I am Elena Gilbert and I live _to_ kill.


	10. The New Her

**I have some great idea's for the next few chapters. We have to remember that if she ever seems a little more human then she should it's because no vampire can be completely clear of humanity no matter how hard they try. Katherine said it I'm just relaying you the info. R&R please! I love reviews more than anything! 3 -BornForThe70's**

No Remedy for Memory

Chapter 10

The New Her…

**Damon POV **

Klaus drops Elena to the ground with a light thud. "She's all yours boys." He says casually before disappearing out the front door in a blur. I'm next to her before the door closes. "Elena?" I whisper pulling her onto my lap. I realize she won't love me, I realize she'll probably resent me for keeping my humanity. But, even though I know all of these things I have to know she's okay.

Her eyes flutter open and she looks at me for a minute, our eyes connect and for a second I can see her. I can see Elena my Elena but, as soon as it comes it goes replaced, by darkness and unfamiliarity. She pushes herself away from me, "Damon," she says looking at me, exactly how Katherine looks at me. Like I'm a pawn. Her eyes quickly switch to Stefan, "And Stefan." She takes a deep breath and pushes herself to her feet. "You can leave now. I know you're only here to see if any of my humanity survived," she says coldly picking up a bottle of bourbon, that's sitting on a spirits cart by the stairs and pouring herself a glass. "I can assure you that it didn't."

I smirk and climb to my feet, "Or we could have some fun?" I suggest, surprise floods Elena's eyes. "What did you have in mind?" she asks taking a sip of bourbon.

"Down a few humans, get drunk?" I say in my wide eyed crazy excited voice, she smiles seeming pleased with my suggestion, "Down the whole bar?" she says with an evil gleam in her eye.

I smirk, I'll go along with whatever she wants as long as she's not downing the whole planet, it'll be fine plus I'll stop her before she kills them all, but the trick is to make her think I don't care. "Let's go." She says grabbing my hand and pulling me to the door, "Coming Stefan?" she asks, my brother shakes his head, "No. It been a long day, I think I'll turn in early." He gives me a 'What the hell are you doing?' look and I give him a confident smile.

"You're missing out. Blood will be spilled and we all know how amazing that is." She says licking her lips.

I can see the veins under his eyes forming at the mention of blood. On that note I usher Elena out the door quickly.

**Elena POV**

I look at Damon, he's so…familiar. And yet I can't place him…it's like I know his name and his face but, _him_; his personality, his relationship to me…there's nothing there absolutely nothing. Good. I don't need a weakness and something tells me the more I find out about my _humanity _the more of a weakness _he_ will become.

We walk down the quite streets in the small nothing town we're in. That's when I remember what I'm wearing. It's nice. Very nice actually but, I feel like cream fabric will be a blood magnet. "Hold on." I say spotting a boutique. I smirk and run up to the door, clutching the handle tightly. It takes hardly any strength to break the lock. I push the door open and as expected, there was no security system. There usually wasn't in these little small town shops. "What are you doing?" Damon asks following me inside the small shop, "I need a new outfit. I can't go _drinking_ like this. I look like a Barbie. Now, go sit on the couch and stay quite." I hiss at him.

It doesn't take long to find something in this shop it's very upscale. I go with a killer high-wasted dress, the bottom is a metallic brown and the top is deep red with artful slits and a thin strip of black to divide the brown and red. It's absolutely beautiful and I find satisfaction in seeing Damon's jaw drop after I put it on. I add a pair of black pumps and a black leather hobo bag to complete the look.

"Ready?" Damon says seeming annoyed. "Almost, but I need some cash first." I say hopping over the counter and without difficultly tug the money drawer hard enough to break the lock. I take most of the money and slip it into a designer wallet I'd pulled off the shelve.

"Ready." I tell Damon hopping back over the counter to join him on the sidewalk outside. "Let's go." I say bounding ahead.

As soon as we reach the bar I smile seeing the large number of people. "Perfect." I whisper, turning the lock on the door behind my back fiercely so that it's stuck on lock. I look at Damon, I can see the disapproval in his eyes. "What?" I ask rolling my eyes. "Is that really necessary?"

"Yes. This was your idea anyway, why would you want one of them to get out? The more the merrier. Right?" Damon eyes me suspiciously. And makes his way over to the bar without another word.

I smirk and spy a guy around twenty, his eyes are on me and once he sees me looking at him he makes his way over to me beer in hand. "I'm Luke." He says with a sexy smirk. I play along, "Elena." I say leaning against the railing behind me.

"I haven't seen you around here before, you new?" he asks.

"You could say that."

"Where you from?" he asks, I think hard and come up empty, "Around." I say seductively.

"Let me by you a drink." I glance around the crowded bar, I see Damon watching me a glass of bourbon in his hand. "No need." I say bearing my fangs and plunging them into his neck, he screams in agony and the whole bar goes silent as I throw his body to the ground. "Hello," I say coolly, "ready to die?"

The whole bar begins to scream in fear and I grab my next victim, they race to the door which is locked.

This is going to be a very fun night.

**Damon POV**

I can't stand this anymore. I can't stand to see her kill all these people. She's feeding on her tenth victim, there are about fourteen more people cowering in fear on the other side of the bar no one else needs to die tonight. I race over to her and push her off her almost dead victim. "What the hell!" she screams. "You can't do this Elena! It's not you!" I say pinning her to the ground. "It is now." she says kicking me off of her. I recuperate quickly. She's hardly as strong as me. I grab her around the waste and turn her to look at me, "Stop this Elena!" I scream at her.

"You make me sick Damon. They're humans, they're weak. It is in our nature to kill them! How can you deny that?"

"No. It's in our nature to feed on them. Killing is not in the job description."

"It should be." She says pinning me to the floor. "It's so much fun." I flip her so that I'm over her, "Been there done that." I say putting my hands on the side of her face and twisting hard, I can hear the bones in her neck crack as she slumps to the floor unconscious. "I'm sorry…" I whisper, I feel bad about doing that. Really bad. I guess some part of me had hoped that she'd come here and see all these people who she was planning to kill and feel bad. It was obvious that she didn't.

I look up at the cowering humans and walk over to them. "Is it dead?" they ask looking at me. "_She_ is unconscious."

"Why didn't you kill her?" A peite red head asks, a tall blond guy standing in front of her looks back and says, "He's one of them moron."

I roll my eyes. "Get in a line."

"What?" A plump women says timidly. "Get in a fucking line or I will kill you." I say in annoyance. "But, you just saved us?"

"No. I saved her to much blood isn't good for her. I don't give a shit about you. Now get in a line."

"No." the blond guys says defensively. I shake my head and use my vampire speed to get him from behind. I push his up against the wall and bite into his neck, quickly draining him dry. I throw his body to the ground. "Now get in a god damn line."

They quickly do as told and I compel them all to forget tonight and go home. If anyone asks they'll tell them they went somewhere else.

They all leave after I compel them and I quickly, go over to where Elena is on the floor. I pull her into my arms and carry her back to Klaus' house. I have a feeling she's going to be very bitchy tomarrow.


	11. When You're Sleeping

**Hello, BornForThe70's here! This is the next chapter! I really like it! You get to see a little bit of the ripper melt in this chapter. She's letting a tiny little bit of humanity in. It won't last very long but, it's cute. I know some of you wanted to see Stefan go ripper too, but I decided that was just too much. Anyway, I hope you like it special thanks to all of you amazing readers! Review pretty please! Thanks again! xoxo BornForThe70's**

No Remedy for Memory

Chapter 11

When You're Sleeping

**Damon POV**

I lay Elena down on the king sized bed in a large room upstairs. She looks so peaceful right now. Pure and beautiful. I still love her. Even this messed up ripper version of her…she's still my Elena. And I will never let anything happen to her. I smile down at her and move the hair out of her face before leaning down and kissing her on the forehead. "I promise you Elena…I'll save you." I whisper knowing she can't hear me. "I will never stop trying to get you back."

I'd completely forgotten that she was drenched in blood…the new outfit was completely soiled. I smirk, I have to admit she looked pretty damn hot in it while it lasted.

I pull her shoes off, and then I unzip her dress and manage to get it over her head. I quickly replace it with my shirt. I have another in the car and it'll be more comfortable then the dress would have been.

I smile before slipping out of the room and closing the door. I look down the hall and see a slit of light coming from under the door of the room next to hers. I swing the door open to find Stefan sitting on the bed looking down at the bourbon in his hand. I know he hears me come in but he doesn't react. "Hello brother," I say nonchalantly.

No reply.

"So, I had to snap Elena's neck today to get her to stop feeding but, I figure she'll be like a dog, after she gets popped on the nose a few times she'll learn not to do it." I say pouring myself a glass of the amber liquid.

"She's not a dog Damon…she's a ripper. She's going to do whatever she wants." Stefan says sounding drained.

I eye him suspiciously, something is defiantly wrong here… "What's wrong with you Stefan?"

He looks at me like I'm insane. "What's _wrong_ with me? Damon, you know what the hell is wrong with me. You slept with her. You slept with Elena. And on top of that, you knew…you had an advantage. You knew I wasn't there to comfort her and that she felt abandoned. You took advantage of her Damon and I don't know how you can be so pleased with yourself…when you know that it's no real. You know, she was just hurt and she needed someone."

I stare at him, I'm not angry at him or mad…I'm just staring at him because he's such a motherfucking idiot. "Don't play that card. It's not in your hand. You chose to leave her, not me. I was simply there. End of story. It's me not you so deal with it or leave. Because right now I don't see any other options."

"I could kill you."

I shot him a your-serious glance and then smirk, "Then kill me. But, think about it, could you really help her through this? You can't even hear the word blood without tensing up, how the hell do you think you could possibly help her? A ripper. She's a ripper Stefan she's not a defenseless human anymore and yet, that's all you see her as. You seem to think you'll be more help than me but, would you really be?"

I can see the realization on his face, "No. And it scares me that I can't help the women _I _love and _you_ can because…it's just another reason why she needs you. Damon, she needs you. You have to save her…I can't…I've never been able too but, you you're strong and she's in love with you…use her love to help her…_I know_ that it's going to take love to save her…and I can't be that person because she might love me…but, she's not _in love_ with me. Promise me you'll save her?" he pleads.

I nod, "I promise. Where are you going?" he shrugs, "Somewhere but, I'll be back…in a few decades." He says standing. "Thank you, brother…" he says "for saving me."

I stand and give him a hug, "What are big brothers for?" I say with a smile, he pulls back pats my shoulder and disappears.

I'm left there in silence…my little brother is gone. And he's trusted me with the most important thing in his life…Elena.

**Elena POV (a few hours later.)**

I wake up suddenly shooting up in…a bed. How the hell did I get here? That's when the nights events start coming back to me…the bar, the blood, fighting with Damon. I gasp, that bastard snapped my neck! I push myself off the bed and get to my feet. I look down. I'm wearing Damon's shirt. It's soft and comfortable and it reminds me of…love. Why does it remind me of love. I fucking hate the word. It leaves a sour taste in my mouth just to think it.

I silently open the door to the room a pier into the hallway, I am going to kill Damon…or a least snap _his _neck. An eye for an eye or…in this case a neck for a neck. Luckily the hallway is clear and I can see a light coming from the room next to mine. I open the door slowly and find Damon asleep on the bed, I approach his bed when something on the dresser in his room catches my eye. A small silver ring.

I pick it up slowly and turn it around making sure it's what I think it is.

_Who would Damon be giving a ring too? _I ask myself.

It's a beautiful antique ring. The band was sliver and decorated with the smallest and most beautiful diamonds I had ever seen, they ended in two tulip shaped shoulders that artfully incased the beautiful old European cut diamond, with a Edwardian look to it. It was beautiful. But, most importantly it was an engagement ring…who is Damon getting engaged to? I can't figure it out…that's when I notice a small inscription on the inside of the band: Mary Angelique Salvatore. His mother…this was her ring. Her wedding ring…_sweet_. But why did Damon have his mother's wedding ring?

I look at it closer. And then I notice something else on the dresser…a small leather bound note book with aged pages…Damon's journal…

I pick it up and flip through it starting with the very first entry:

_September 15__th__ 1854 _

_Mother passed away today…it is not fair that she became sick. It is not fair that she died. It is not fair she did not get to watch us age. My heart is heavy in grief…I want to cry so very bad but, I don't allow myself to…I have to stay strong for Stefan. He's so little and Father refuses to calm down long enough to tell him what is going on so I must. He's been crying non-stop for hours; he finally fell asleep in my lap. I feel horrible for him. I was granted fourteen years of my mother's kindness before she passed unlike my little brother whom was only granted half that. I hope I shall never have to endure a pain like this again, my heart died when she breathed her last…I was the only person there. And now I fear Father may resent me forever because of it. Momma had told the maids to bring me in because she had wanted to speak to her oldest son… this is what she had said: "Oh, my dear, dear Damon. I love you so much, my sweet. You are an angel, and I want you have this," she'd given me her wedding ring before continuing… "One day when you fall in love, I want you to give this ring to her…I want it to be for the one you really love. Not one you think you love you must know you love them, Damon. I want you to promise me you will only give this ring to the one girl you really love. Promise?" I had nodded at that part although I doubt I will ever give it to anyone. It was hers…it is hers and I know I will never love anyone the way I love her. She is my mother who else can you love like that? "And Damon…take care of your little brother. Don't leave him…he needs you more then you could ever know. Brothers are forever my love, you must protect him always, Damon. Always." She coughed and then taken another breath before she finished simply with, "Love is the most real thing we have…remember that if anything…" Then she was gone. Silent and pale. I don't need to know how it feels to die because death has already taken me…I died when she died…But, I swear to her. I will not break my promises. I shall always protect my brother and I will give the ring away to the person who I fall in love with. I swear that._

I run my hand over the tear stained page…I suppose he never found his true love… I know I shouldn't but, I can't help but, try and find out about who I am to him. I suddenly need to know. I flip to the back there are only a few entry's here and they are not constant. The one I decide to read has my name written at the top, _Elena_.

_May 23__rd__ 2009_

_She's the same but, she's different. She looks exactly like Katherine except she's not…she's innocent and pure. And Katherine even being the beauty she was, was not innocent or pure. It's weird to look at her and see Katherine again…she's been locked up for so long I felt like I was looking at a ghost. Except she wasn't a ghost…she is Elena. A completely different person with the exact same face…I can't figure it out. How? How can someone look exactly like someone else who lived 500 years ago…It just didn't make since…It also didn't make since that I'd felt something for her, something strong…I guess that's why I'd made her forget, I was scared she might surpass Katherine in feeling. And that can't be allowed to happen. I promised my mother I'd give her ring to the women I loved and Katherine…Katherine was that women…she had to be. _

Katherine? Katherine Pierce…my doppelganger. He is in love with Katherine? But, then why is he here and not with her…she's not in the tomb. I skim the next few pages, before I come to a page that I have to stop at…the first sentence is just too enticing.

_November 4__th__ 2010_

_I love her. And I hate it. I hate emotion especially when it's linked to Elena. She's too hard to love because __**she**__ is with __**him**__. And __**he**__ makes it complicated…they make it complicated. I get that she won't give me a chance because of him, but I saved her today too. Not just him. I deserve some credit and yet I don't get any because it's Stefan…it's always Stefan. That's how it always is. That's how it always will be. I told her the truth tonight. I told her that I loved her and that I always would. Not that it makes a difference, I compelled her to forget. It wasn't fair of me to tell her and it wouldn't have changed anything she would have rejected me if I had let her. She already knew…but, I just had to say it…just once. I know she may think I'm strong enough to sit in the background silently ready to swoop in and save her at the last minute without saying one word. But, she just needed to know. It needed to be there even if she wasn't able to remember. I may have failed at being silent but, I have loved her from the start. I always would. And maybe one day she'll feel the same way about me but, until then I swear to her I will never fall apart again. Never._

This page is familiar…I remember it…when he did this…the memory is as clear and vivid as present day…right after Rose had kidnapped me…

I'd just changed into my PJ's and Damon had been in my room. I remember thinking, _Not this. I can't deal with this right now._ After he'd made a comment on my pajamas. He'd shown me my necklace and refused to give it back saying he needed to tell me something and I couldn't remember because it was the most selfish thing he'd ever said in his life. What he's said next was forever plastered in my mind. I would never forget it.

"_I just have to say it once, you just need to hear it; I love you Elena. And it's because I love you that I can't be selfish with you and why you can't know this. I don't deserve you…but, my brother does." He said kissing me on my forehead and moving a loose strand of hair behind my ear. "God, I wish you didn't have to forget this…but, you do…" I'd seen the tear fall from his eyes before he disappeared, leaving the necklace at it original place on my neck._

I'd only just gotten that memory back…only just. How is it that it had suppressed it's self for so long. It was such a beautiful memory…I look to where Damon is sleeping peacefully on the bed. "I remember us…" I whisper placing the ring on my finger. "This was meant for me…" I say quietly, closing his journal and putting it back exactly where I'd found it. I go over to him and brush his bangs out of his eyes. Smiling to myself. "I love you too." I whisper before I realize how much unwanted humanity I had just let in. I shake away a falling tear and force it back out.

No…I did love him but, I don't anymore. I force myself to think. I am not capable of that anymore.

**So, what did you think? Good, bad, okay? By the way, it's not actually on record if Damon keeps a journal but, I think he does. Although he doesn't write in it much, inconsistently since 1854. Yes, he began on the day his mother died. (If you wanna see his mother this is a link to a portrait of what I believe she would have looked like: . /4145/5039291241_ * except she'd have AMAZING blue eyes like Damon.) Also, the ring is a KEY part in the story! Okay, well that's it for me. Esta la vista! R&R! 3 –BornForThe70's**


	12. And We Must Move On

**I like this chapter! It's got some very awesome plot progression. Please take note Marion is NOT a fictional town. It's real you can look it up to see how the buildings and old homes look or go to this site: the swamp fox .com *(No spaces.) Anyway I do hope you like this chapter! R&R! Thanks for the reviews! Much gratitude, -Jess**

No Remedy for Memory

Chapter 12

And We Must Move On

**Bonnie POV**

"Bye." I say into the phone as Stefan disconnects the call. I slip the phone into my pocket and gallop up stairs looking for Jeremy. "Jer I…" I stop talking as I spot Jeremy sitting on the bed in Elena's room. I can hear the almost silent sobs from my place in the hall, I ease myself into the room slowly, and tap on the open door with the back of my hand. "You okay?" I ask quietly.

He glances up at me a harsh look on his face. "No. What do you want?" he says coldly. I glance down at the picture of Elena in his hands and go over to him. "I know you think I'm the bad guy right now, Jeremy. But, you have to know, I did this to save all of them. What happened to Elena isn't as bad as what would have happened if I hadn't done what I did. We will save Elena, I promise you that. But, there was no way we could have saved them. I know it looks like I switched sides but you have to believe, I would _never_ do that to you guys. I would never leave you to help anyone who wanted to hurt you. I couldn't. Not even if I wanted to. I care about you way too much to betray you like that. So please, forgive me."

Jeremy shrugs, "I don't think you understand Bonnie! The problem with this isn't that you helped Klaus, I don't care about that! I'm mad because _you_ could help her and Damon can help her and Stefan and Tyler and Caroline _everyone _seems to be able to help _my _sister except for me! I'm useless to her! I can't protect her, I can't help her through this. What good am I?"

I shake my head and place my hand on his shoulder, "She doesn't see you as useless. You are the most important thing in the world to her. You are her link to humanity Jeremy. She loves you and if she knew you felt useless she'd tell you exactly how much you mean to her." He looks up at me, tears testing there limits at the rims of his eyes. "Obviously, not as much as I thought. She left me Bonnie. Just like everyone else."

I shake my head, "You know she didn't do that intentionally. She didn't have a choice she would never leave you on purpose."

"Did he…make her a…" I nod, "I just got off the phone with Stefan…Klaus ran. Damon is with Elena now, Stefan can't stay there…you know with all the blood Elena is drinking and the…the victims."

"Damon is letting her kill people?" he says appalled, I nod, "He can't really stop her Jer. The only way for her to get better is for Damon to spark something…human. She loves him, there's no one better to do this then Damon believe me. She's gonna kill people because it's in her nature but, if he can make her feel, he can save her."

"I really hope your right Bonnie." He whispers, I nod and wrap my arms around him, "She'll be fine Jer. She'll be fine."

**Elena POV **

I wake up suddenly as ice cold water hits me in the face. "WHAT THE FUCK? DAMON!" I scream waving my arms wildly. "Good morning to you too." He says winking.

"Why did you do that?" I ask calming myself down, he shrugs, "Sounded like a good idea at the time. I see no downsides to it, do you?"

"Yes! I do!"

"I don't." I grunt and fall back onto the pillow. I am supposed to believe this man is in love with me? He's a good actor. "Get up we're leaving."

"Where are we going?" I ask I have no idea why I'm willing to go anywhere with him, maybe it's in light of what I found out last night but, I won't leave him. Why is that? He seems surprised but, smiles, "I don't know some small town somewhere but, we can't stay here. You did kill half the population of the town last night." He jokes. "Pick a state any state."

I think for a minute, "South Carolina." I say. "Why South Carolina? Why not," he shrugs, "California or New York?"

"You asked for smalls towns. South Carolina is full of small towns." He nods, "Okay, let's go." I look down at Damon's shirt and my lacy black underwear, "I can't go anywhere in this. I need some clothes and…preferably a drink." I say with an evil smirk. "Oh, I don't know I like this look on you." I roll my eyes, "Let's go find another shop to raid."

…**.**…**.**…

We arrive at the same boutique, I'd raided last night. There are a few customers inside and a man working by the open door to fix the lock I'd broken. A women behind the desk is looking around nervously, probably trying to scope out whoever broke in last night. Damon stood in front of me, as we went inside trying to avert people's eyes from my indecency. The lady behind the counter spoke up, "Um, Miss, you must be fully clothed to be in here." I ignore her and head over to the racks of clothes. "Miss?" The women repeats, then I hear Damon compelling her to stay quiet.

I grab a pair of white skinny jeans, a pink chiffon Ralph Lauren blouse and some white pumps. I hold it up so Damon can see, "Classy." He says arms crossed. I smile and whisper, "What's the clerks name?"

"Jessica." I smile, "Well, she looks tasty." he rolls his eyes.

"Jessica, is it?" I ask going up to the brown haired women and looking her in the eyes. "You will come with me." I compel her and lead her into the back room draining her dry with little effort. Afterwards I change into the outfit I selected, clean off my face and return to Damon. "Where's Jessica?"

I smirk evilly, "Dead."

"Let's go, Elena." He says heading back to the car. I follow him.

"So, South Carolina but, where exactly are we going?" he asks.

"I don't know you're driving." He laughs "And you're choosing, so princess where are we going." He says handing me his phone, "This is a map of all the towns in South Carolina. Choose one."

I look over the map, "How about Marion?"

"Marion it is."


	13. Not Just Any Small Southern Town

**I think you'll come to like Marion! ;) Wink Wink! Anyway, I like this chapter the next one has some Elena humanity so brace yourselves! Read on and then review! Thanks for your reviews I LOVE them!-Jess**

No Remedy for Memory

Chapter 13

Not Just Any Small Southern Town

**Elena POV**

Marion was _scrumptious_. The people here looked absolutely delicious. Looked…as in I hadn't gotten a taste yet. Don't get me wrong I would have already sunk my teeth into this town and been done with it if Damon hadn't decided to be so…difficult. Damon insisted we couldn't keep jumping from town to town killing everyone off and moving on, he said the _humans _would get suspicious. Humans, I can't say I'm really worried about them. They're pathetic and defenseless; how could Damon even think that a human could stand up to a vampire and have any chance of surviving? It was a completely unrealistic idea.

We'd taken up residency in an old abandoned plantation house at the edge of town. It was a large white house with a wraparound porch and a red front door with chipping paint.

"So," I begin, throwing myself onto the old antique couch next to Damon, "what's our story?"

"Story?" he questions. I nod, "Yes, story. You're the one who doesn't want to keep jumping from town to town, and if we're staying here…well, we can't exactly walk around unnoticed can we? I mean this isn't exactly Las Vegas people don't just come here on vacation. People in small towns notice when there's someone new walking down the street so, what's our story? Why did we come to _Marion, South Carolina_?" I ask smirking evilly.

He shrugs. "I haven't gotten that far yet." I smile knowing that would be his answer. "I have. Would you like to know why we came to Marion?"

He nods, "Go for it." I smile, my idea is perfect in all aspects. Not only is it believable but, it gets extra points for messing with Damon's mind, "We're newlyweds looking for some southern hospitality. After all what small town doesn't welcome a cute new couple. You've got to admit we are pretty good looking. We'll be the talk of the town."

He looks uncertain and then nods, "Sounds good Mrs. Salvatore." I glance at him and laugh. I have to admit that doesn't sound too horrible.

…...

Our day view went perfectly. We'd simply walked down the side walk on main street and been noticed by a plump old lady named Danna Bryant. Part of the church community I suppose. Very, very nice and able to quote scripture straight from the bible. Said, it'd be important when Jesus came back. I'd just smiled and gone along with it, holding onto Damon's arm with fake affection…at least I _think_ it was fake, Damon confuses me more than Danna's love of hymns.

We'd been in Marion for four days now. And I still hadn't found time to feed, I was starving, I could feel my fangs aching to burst through my gums every time I saw a human. I swear to god if Damon didn't let me feed soon I was going to massacre the entire town, next time I saw a human.

Damon…he is annoying, and cocky but, I can't shake him. When I look at him…I can't help but, smile. I want him with me and it scares me. I don't want to need him…but, I do. I need him. I'm still wearing his mother's ring. I know when he does he'll go ballistic but, I can't take it off. I can't force myself to take it off…I feel like…it belongs on my finger. I can't explain it I just do.

I'm sitting on my bed twisting the ring around my finger when, I hear Damon knock on the door, "Come in." I say hiding my hand under the pillow in my lap.

"Hello, Elena." He says waltzing into my room and plopping down on my bed, I roll my eyes, "Damon."

"Oh, come on Elena I thought you'd be happy. After all you get to feed tonight." I look up at him surprised, "Really?" he winks 'yes'.

"Well come on!" I say jumping to my feet and tugging him off the bed then leading him outside by the hand. "One rule you two kills of your choice as long as no one see's you."

I nod, and dart off towards town square. It doesn't take long to find my first victim: a teenage girl jogging down the street distracted by the music blasting through her earphones, her black hair held in a high ponytail. I look her over before walking casually down the street to her, I'm the sweet new girl in this town, better use it to my advantage.

When the girl sees me she removes her earphones. "Hi, I'm Elena Salvatore, I just moved to town with my husband and I was wondering if you could maybe point me in the direction of the hardware store? I can't seem to find it." The girl looks at me skeptically, probably trying to tell if I was a threat or not. I guess after seeing my very southern floral dress and white flats she decided I was a safe bet. She'd be wrong of course but, oh well. "Yeah, totally um, I can just walk you it's actually on my way home so. This way." She says starting down the street, "So, you're new in town?" I nod with a smile, "Yeah, Damon and I wanted to live in a small town where you know everyone." "Damon?" the girl asks, "My husband." Reply, "So, what's your name?"

"Oh, I'm sorry, Brianna Harmon. Ya know, like Harmon Park right next to English Park?" I nod, acting like I know where ever the hell that is. "How old are you?" I ask.

"Eighteen, I graduated this year actually." I smile, "Well, congratulations."

Brianna looks at me, "How old are you?"

I smirk and let the blood lust in which causes my fangs to shoot through my gums and my veins to protrude around my eyes. "Oh, sweetie I don't age." I say throwing her into a nearby alley "What the hell?" she screams. I grab her by the chin and look deep into her eyes, "Behave." I say using compulsion just before digging my fangs into her neck and sucking the succulent blood into my mouth. I can hear her heart race decreasing as I drink.

I'm enjoying the girl's delicious blood when I'm suddenly grabbed by the shoulders and forcefully thrown into the wall of the alley. I hiss and look up expecting to see Damon but, to my surprise a pretty girl with flowing blond curls and electric green eyes stands before me. She's dressed in black skinny jeans, a turquoise blouse and a stylish black leather jacket. I stare at her in surprise, but before I have time to even fully take in my situation the blond kicks me in the face and sends me flying into the air, I gasp and struggle to my feet just to be hit again. I pick myself up and throw my hand up absorbing the next blow. The blond kicks again and again I am sent flying into the wall. "Who the hell are you!" I scream. "That's the question I should be asking you!" the blond screams with a flaring British accent before striking me with her hand, I'm knocked to the concrete ground beneath me, I feel defeated. Whoever this bitch is she's strong and I am no match for her, "DAMON!" I yell.

He's there suddenly pushing the blond bitch away from me. "Are you okay?" he asks pulling me to my feet. I lean on him unable to support my own weight. "No…" I groan feeling myself slip towards the ground, he pulls me back up, wrapping his arms around me protectively.

The blond stops and looks over at Brianna whose bleeding severely, she takes a deep breath and bites into her own wrist holding it to Brianna's lips and forcing her to drink. Once her neck heals from where I had bitten her, the blond bends down and looks the scared girl in the eyes, "You don't remember a thing, everything is fine. You met an old friend in the park and stayed to talk for a bit. No harm done."

"I met an old friend…" she repeats. The blond nods, and helps Brianna to her feet. "Artamis?" Brianna asks. The blond supposedly called Artamis nods, "Are you alright?"

"Uh, yeah…what happened?"

"You must have blacked out how long has it been since you've had water?"

"A while."

The blond smiles. "Well, I guess that's it then. Just be careful on the walk back home." Brianna nods, "Thanks Artamis." She says before disappearing down the street.

Then the blond turns to us, "I'm Artamis Claviari. Who the hell are you?"


	14. Southern Hospitality?

No Remedy for Memory

Chapter 14

Southern Hospitality?

**Damon POV**

Elena and I stared at the small blond vampire in awe. Who the hell was Artamis Calviari? I guess this isn't the small unprotected town we'd thought it was.

"I said: Who the hell are you?" Artamis repeats again. I look down at Elena whose still using me to keep her up. "Damon Salvatore." I answer coldly. "And your friend?"

"Elena Gilbert." Elena chokes out. "Oh, so you're not married like the town thinks you are? Are you even together?" We stay silent. "I've heard of you, the Salvatore brothers and they're obsession with the doppelgangers, although I had no idea they'd turned you…When did this happen? And more importantly…does Klaus know?" I stare at her in disbelief...is there some kind of weekly vampire newsletter I'm not subscribed to? How does this bitch know about us?

"Yes. How do you know about Klaus?" I ask wanting to kill this little bitch. She hurt Elena. No one hurts Elena. No one. No matter what Elena it is.

She raises an eyebrow, "Niklaus is an old…acquaintance of mine. We met in England, 1647."

My eyes widen. 1647? Whoever this chick was she had me beat in the age department. And age also met strength. That was not okay.

"How old where you then?" I ask curiously, "Just wondering." She smirks, "Oh, not old: 100, 102 somewhere in there, I can't tell you for sure. That was a _long_ time ago, Damon. I barely remember. But, I will say this I am in no way young. I've been around the block a few times, gotten my taste of the world…" she tilts her head to the side noticing my defensive stance. "Don't try it. You are no match for me."

I look done at Elena who's passed out in my arms. "Do you think I'm stupid enough to try and fight you. I know you'd rip my head off without a second thought, but you need to know something about me. I can be pretty fucking strong when it comes to her." I nod down at Elena, "Seeing as you already hurt her, I think we'd be pretty evenly matched." Artamis laughs, "Oh, Damon Salvatore you're a joke. Fighting for a girl you'll never be able to keep. Pathetic. Let me guess Klaus made her a ripper as punishment for becoming a vampire? Is that why you're here? Trying to hide her life from her so that she won't hurt anyone she cares about. Don't you see Damon she's a ripper. What make you think that _you_, can save her. She can't be tamed. A ripper is a ripper."

I scoff, "Well, she's pretty tamed if you ask me. I mean she hasn't whipped out this town yet. I know I can help her. And I will."

"How?"

"I love her and she loves me too. I've seen what love can do. It saved my brother. All I have to do is make her remember. But, that's not important. You already know why we're here. Why are you?"

"I've been here since 1735 when the town was founded. This is my town and I won't have you feeding on the citizens of _my_ town." I smirk, "So, you have lived here 223 years protecting the town…by yourself. I've heard of being antisocial but, that's just crazy." Artamis rolls her eyes, "What makes you think I'm alone?"

"Are you?" I ask curiously, she rolls her eyes, "We can fix this easily, you and your girl leave and we won't have a problem."

"We had a problem? I wasn't aware." I say sarcastically. "We're not leaving. This town _loves _us." Artamis narrows her eyes, "Watch yourself, Damon. You don't want me as an enemy." With that she disappears.

I roll my eyes. An enemy is the last thing I need right now, Elena is hard enough to handle and I don't need this British bitch threatening us. I pull Elena into my arms. She's so beautiful…I move a lock of thick brown hair away from her face before speeding back to the plantation house.

…**.**…**.**…

**Elena POV**

I wake up in my room at the plantation house. The last thing I remember is…saying my name to the blond vampire…then I blacked out. What happened after that? Was Damon okay? He saved me…

I groan, _Why does he always do that?_ I think in frustration only it almost likes it's not me thinking it...it almost sounds like someone else…someone human. _It only makes things harder…he needs to stop before he gets hurt. I don't want him to get hurt…he's been hurt too much._ They're it goes again…I can feel it deep inside of me quietly whispering…almost like hunger but, stronger…humanity. My humanity is a pain in the ass always sneaking up on me whispering to my soul when my guard is down. I want to ignore it but, something in me won't let me, for some reason Damon is too important to me. Why is that? Why does my humanity care about him so much…I know he loved me but, did I love him?

I roll my eyes storing these thoughts away for later when I have time to care about my human problems, right now I need to find Damon. I just need to know that he's okay. That's all and I'll be satisfied.

I tug on a pair of black skinny jeans and a loose grey tee shirt and slip into the hall, the old wooden floors are squeaking beneath my feet as I trump through all the rooms on the hall looking for him. Most of them are small parlors full of old furniture draped with old white sheets. They all bored me into oblivion, but Damon likes looking through the old drawers of ancient crap. I glance down at his mother's ring gleaming on my finger, I can see why… I guess; this ring is beautiful…no telling what other little treasures people spilled into those drawers a hundred years ago.

After I search the whole house, I find no sign of Damon…I have no choice but to ponder one question…was Damon dead or had he left me?

After thinking about this for a moment, I realize how scared I am…if he left or worse…if he's dead…I have _no one_. Damon is all I have…I'm breathing jaggedly now, a tear slips down my cheek.

What am I going to do? That blond vampire is out there somewhere and if she killed Damon she'll be looking for me… right? But, the how did I get here…a small amount of relief flushes through me but, only for a split second as I realize he had to have carried me here, although the relief is quickly replaced by more fear…does that mean he left me?

My hands are trembling now…as I race up to his room which will either confirm or deny my worst fear, he might not have taken his clothes with him but, his journal? Something tells me he would have taken that with him.

I swing the door open and my eyes land on the little leather bound book on the bedside table. I sigh with relief, he's still here…I think. I can't be certain though, there's always the possibility he forgot it.

I take a deep breath and pick up his journal. Of course I'm too tempted not to read it…the more I can find out about that annoying voice in my soul the better. I turn to a page toward the middle.

_June 14__th__ 1864_

_Katherine is like a cloud. Beautiful and innocent looking but, capable to produce the most horrible storms there are. I love her, but I can never be sure that she returns my affection. She is so mysterious. And honestly she tends to scare me in the slightest…her being a vampire. A creature of legend and nightmare. Father calls her kind demons although I refuse to believe that term. Katherine can be a fright but, not because of the vampire aspect. Not so much anymore, I used to be rather frightened by her fangs and cracked appearance as a vampire but, that does not scare me anymore; what scares me is that she is with Stefan also. I want to be enough for her…why does she need us both. Why not only me? Is my love not satisfactory? I can't believe that virgin Stefan is capable of loving her how she deserves to be loved. I cannot seem to understand it. Why does it seem as though everything about Stefan surpasses everything about myself? There seems to be no since there. However, I shall not take this as a setback Katherine loves me, she will see how little she needs Stefan and soon she will be mine and only mine. The way it was intended. _

A memory floods back to me, about Katherine…

_I'd come to the boarding house looking for Stefan, "Stefan? Stefan?" I'd been calling I figured if he was there he could probably hear me. I guessed after a few seconds he wasn't home but, when I turned to go I ran into a mirror image of myself with curly hair and evil eyes. My heart race increased as it hit me…Katherine._

"_You must be Elena." She said her voice cold and emotionless._

"_How is this possible?" I breathed in disbelief, as she stepped towards me heals clicking on the mahogany floors. I'd taken a small breath, "How do we look exactly alike?" I said mouth still slightly agape._

_She'd just stared at me, taking me in, making sure I was an exact match before circling around me, her cold hand grazing my chest ever so slightly, "You're asking the wrong questions." She said with a evil, smirk before Stefan's voice boomed through the house, "Elena!" he screamed worriedly, appearing in the entry way of the huge parlor we were standing in, and just like that Katherine was gone. Like a ghost. Barely even there._

God, Katherine was a bitch. Damon was lucky he got rid of her…but, he got exactly the same thing. He got a less bitchy version of the same reality: boy meets girl, boy loves girl, girl loves his brother…

But, do I? Do I love Stefan? The annoying voice hasn't mentioned Stefan at all. Only Damon, always Damon.

Suddenly I hear a door open and close. Damon. I close his journal and replace it on the bedside table before racing down stairs, I peek shyly around the corner catching a small glimpse of him, whipping a spot of scarlet blood off his bottom, lip. At first I'm appalled he had feed without me, I was still starving-after all I hadn't had a chance to finish my dinner last night—but, then I remind myself that he's alive and still here, and I'm not alone and I don't know…I melt, suddenly the human in me explodes and I'm gravitating towards him slowly. Moving from my place behind the wall that separates the stairs from the main entry way, he looks at me and takes a deep breath, "Elena, I…" he mumbles trying to explain the situation, I however I am hardly paying any attention to his excuses. I'm too busy fighting the voice in my head, which is screaming: _Hug him! Kiss him! Do something! He saved your life! Your happy he's back, you owe him something!_

And even though the conscious part of me, has no desire to give him anything in return they're a little mixture in between the two that's telling me what I need to do.

I stop in front of him arms crossed, as he continues trying to come up with a lie as to where he was, "Save it Damon…I know you were feeding." I say calmly, so calmly in fact I earn a curious look from Damon, "How?" he asks, I tap my bottom lip, "Saw you wipe off what was left of your lunch." I say throwing in a small and quickly fading smile.

He nods, "Sorry, I…" I stop him from continuing, by stepping forward and wrapping my arms around him, "Thank you, for saving me." I say feeling his tenseness melt ever so slightly, before he hugs me back but, just barely, his arms are wrapped lightly around me, ready to drop as soon as mine do. I pull back to look at him, his lips are just inches from mine, before I can stop myself, I kiss him.


	15. Frustration, Confusion and Humanity

**Here you go Chapter 15. I hope you like it! Sorry about the space between updates, busy bee that's me! Haha, anyway thank you to all my readers I love you so much and I LOVE your reviews also! Thank you thank you thank you!**

No Remedy for Memory

Chapter 15

Frustration, Confusion and Humanity

**Elena POV**

_I _kissed him. It was a long time before I pulled away for some reason. I don't know why I hadn't pulled away immediately. I should have but, I hadn't wanted too… I back away from him, slowly at first and then I drat out the door. And into the rainy afternoon. I don't care about the rain. I don't care that I'm soaking wet, all I care about is that I cared about Damon. I…care about Damon.

I don't stop running, before I know it I'm deep in the woods, which seem to surround Marion. And I'm appalled with myself. I care about him why do I care about him? Why did I kiss him? I question my mind as I come to a stop in a completely random spot in the woods the rain is stopping now and thinking about this is hurting my head. I sink to the ground under a tree, breathing jaggedly. The worst thing about all of this is, it had been _me _that kissed him. No him that kissed me and not annoying voice me that forced me to kiss him, I'd wanted to.

And I had, and I'd liked it. I enjoyed feeling close to him. But, now that it was over I'm so conflicted. I don't know what this means…

I take a few deep breaths trying to calm myself when a snapping twig makes me look up, I had expected to see a squirrel or a deer but, to my surprise I find that standing in front of me is a blond girl, bearing an uncanny resemblance to Artamis, "Are you alright?" she asks kindly, she also has a British accent similar to Artamis's, I look at her startled for a moment before, crawling backwards away from her quickly. "Stay away from me!" I shout bearing my fangs.

She shakes her head, "No, love what's wrong?"

I'm so confused, "Artamis?" I breath, wanting to confirm my assumption. "No, I'm Minna. Artamis's sister." I look at her once more, now noticing the differences, Minna is taller and super model skinny, her eyes are blue not green, her hair is less curly and thicker and her lips are full and bow shaped curving into a kind smile as she looks down at me "Do you know Artamis?"

I shake my head, "Barely." I choke. Minna looks at me in sudden recognition, "Are you Elena?"

I nod, scared about what she might do to me now that she knows who I am. "Don't worry, we all feed, my sister was a little extreme. I feel that you could use someone to talk to, tell me what's wrong." Minna has a vibe to her that makes her feel trust worthy, and I need to talk to someone, anyone other than Damon. "Everything." I admit.

"Like what?" she asks sinking to the damp ground beside me, "Humanity." She smiles, and places a comforting hand on my shoulder, "We've all felt that way, humanity can be horrible but, it's also the best thing we've got." She says with a smile, "But, it's not the best thing. At all. It confuses me, I have no idea who I was before now. None of my human memories, the only thing I had when I came to was my name and Damon. I've been remembering a few little things, but when I try and put it together the only thing I've got is the Salvatore's…and a mess of questions."

"It's your humanity that's keeping the memories away from you. People and places that you care about or that you did, it doesn't want you to know about them because you're a threat to them. You could hurt them."

I shake my head, in confusion, "Why…why does it keep giving me these pieces that don't fit together? If I can't have all of it, I don't want any of it!" I dig my nails into the muddy earth beneath me as I'm hit with another sharp storm of frustration.

Minna places her hand over mine, "You don't mean that. You've already let so much of it in. Look at yourself your sitting here crying about _your_ feelings. That is _so_ human and for a Lust Drunk that's absolutely amazing because you're so young and the strength you have is so amazing. But, you know what's even more amazing? Your humanity. Your humanity is so strong that it's able to keep things from you to protect the people you love. Most of us aren't that lucky."

"Lucky." I scoff. "I'm not lucky, this isn't a blessing it's a curse, Minna don't you see? I don't want it, I never wanted it. I don't want to have humanity it's useless it doesn't do anything but, bring you down. It makes you weak. How can you long for something that makes you so weak? So vulnerable? We're vampires Minna. We're not supposed to be vulnerable. We're supposed to be invincible. Our bodies, our minds, our hearts should be able to withstand anything. They shouldn't be so fragile that we have to dump our problems on some unsuspecting bystander. It's sick that _we_ are more fragile minded then humans…they can at least stop themselves. It seems like vampire's have no self-control, wither it's blood _or_ emotions."

Minna stares at me for a second, her blue eye searching my face, then she lets out a deep breath, "You're absolutely right, Elena. Humanity can make you vulnerable. Humanity can make it seem like humans are stronger for being able to deal with it. Humanity _can_ do all of these things…if you let it. But, if you use it to your advantage, if you use it to love and to care and you use it correctly then it _will_ make you feel stronger than anything in the world because, emotions: happiness, excitement…love are strength. Yes, they hurt like hell at times but, that's part of life…and death in some cases. If you let the humanity do what it needs to do and don't second guess it, you _will_ end up exactly where you were meant to be."

I look up at her, that sounds crazy. It sounds moronic. And it also sounds, brilliant.

I nod, "What do I do about Damon? I kissed him but, I don't want to mislead him…I'm not back to the Elena he knew, I'm not in love with him or I don't think I am, yet and I don't want him to think that, that kiss was more than what it was…impulse."

Minna smiles, "Maybe, you should tell him that. He only wants to help you Elena. Let him."

I shake my head, "No. He wants to help her. He wants to help the girl he loved, I'm not that girl."

"Yes you are. You are that girl and he must see it or he wouldn't be here. He _loves_ you, not passed tense. Let him help you. You are the girl he loves, and he's waiting for you to realize it."

I nod and push myself to my feet, "Thank you Minna. For everything. I really needed someone to talk to…"

She gets to her feet also, "No problem, love. You needed my help. I like to help."

I smile at her brightly, as an image flashes through my mind, a pretty blond girl, smiling at me with kind blue-green eyes, I recognize her immediately, Caroline Forbes. I suddenly remember her. Her laugh, her worried expression when I got hurt, her straight forward lectures, where she never failed to make sure I was aware of my feelings for Damon…her fangs…

The memories of Caroline made me smile although I knew my humanity was keeping something's from me, which was extremely annoying but, for my own good. Oh, god how Minna reminded me of Caroline. They looked similar and like Care, Minna seemed to be able to tell me the truth that I was denying.

I look up at Minna, "You know, you remind me of someone."

Her face lights up, "Really? Who?"

"An old friend, I just remembered I have." I say with a laugh, "Goodbye, Minna."

She nods, "Goodbye, Elena and good luck, although I'm sure I will see you again."

I nod once more before turning at speeding back through the woods the way I came. Back to civilization. Back to the plantation house. Back to Damon.


	16. Talking In Circles

**Hey, I haven't updated in forever! Sorry, I've been directing video's lately! :) Anyway please read and review the chapter I'd love to hear your thoughts! Thanks for the reviews! And also, the expression 'Talking in Circles' mean, unable to figure it all out! Anyway again Thanks and review! xoxo Jess**

No Remedy for Memory

Chapter 16

Talking In Circles

**Elena POV**

I tried to creep into the plantation house quietly, so that Damon wouldn't notice me, but it was inevitable that he'd seen me just as I has stepped onto the stairs…

"Elena?" he questioned a certain installment of worry in his voice.

I put on my brave face, forming my lips into a perfect, diabolical smirk, "Oh, hello Damon. I didn't see you there." I say with a high level of false confidence, in my voice.

He seems unconvinced. "Are you okay?"

"No Damon, I'm completely distraught. I can't think about anything, I'm dying inside. Please, please help me." I say, you can literally smell the sarcasm in the air, "I'm fine Damon." I finish turning back towards the stairs, suddenly he's in front of me, looking deep into my eyes digging for answers, "Elena, tell me what's wrong."

I shoot him the death stare, damn him for knowing me so well. "Get out of my way." I say harshly trying to push past him, he may have seen through my mask but, I'm sure as hell not letting him break down my walls.

He refuses to move, keeping his eyes locked on me, our eyes meet for a split second and I can feel my walls crumbling.

_No. No he will not win this time. _I think stubbornly, refusing to meet his eyes again.

"I am tired of this." I say looking to the side, like an idiot, so that our eyes don't meet.

"What?" he questions, I keep my eyes on the wall and spread my arms wide, "This. This whole thing you're trying to do."

"What am I doing exactly?" he says, being…well, Damon. "You know what you're doing." I argue, "I need a refresher." He jokes, "No I don't think you do. You've been working pretty damn hard, persistently so, I doubt you've forgotten."

"No," he shakes his head, "not ringing any bells."

I roll my eyes, why the hell does he have to be so difficult? "Trying to get _her_ back?"

"_Her? _By _her_ I take it you mean _you_?"

"No, I mean what I said and I'm pretty sure I meant her."

"You and '_her' _are the same person, Elena."

"No we're not. Why the hell does everyone keep saying that! I am NOT her. I'm just not. It isn't me. Hell, this isn't even me!" I shout motioning to myself. "I am not, this girl! I don't live by your fucking rules!"

"No one ever said you did."

"But, she does. The human part of me can't stand to disappoint you! And therefor I live by your rules and I hate it!"

"Elena, calm down…you don't live by my rules. And there is only one part of you."

"But, it feels like there are two! And it sucks. Because they are _completely _different people." I say finally meeting his eyes, "It hurts Damon."

He laughs, "I know you don't remember this but, I said the exact same thing to you an few years ago."

"What did I tell you?"

"I don't know, I pretty much bolted out of the room before you had time to blink. I didn't feel like getting rejected that day."

"So, should I bolt?"

"Nope, I don't make very good decisions, Elena. But, you do…most of the time. You've done pretty stupid things too, but at the end of the day…life's a lesson and, all of our mistakes tech us, to implicate the mistakes we've made before. Don't run, I know your scared Elena, but, never run when you're scared, because the truth is, sooner or later all the things you run from will catch up with you."

"Okay fine. I won't run…I'm going to say what I need to say and be done with it. Damon, I am not the girl you knew…I'm not. And I don't know if I ever will be again but, I do know that the girl knew loves you. And I know you love her. But, lets get this straight, I don't love you. I don't love you. And I'm sorry I kissed you, it was misleading. And-"

Damon cut's me off standing up straight and confidently says, "Yes you are. You are the girl I knew. I'm not trying to change _you _or get _you _back because I already have you. I'm trying to save you Elena. From yourself. Because your trying to convince yourself that no one loves you, you want to push everyone away. But, I won't let you. That kiss wasn't misleading at all. Not to me. Your only misleading yourself Elena. I love _you. _And you just said that some part of you loves me too. So, why don't you concentrate on that, instead of the other things you've been concentrating on. I am real. And I do love you and no one…no one will ever love you more than I do."

I couldn't help but, gape at him, I know it seemed like I should fight back, like I should argue but, in all honesty I didn't know if he was wrong.

Maybe I was just misleading myself…maybe…he knew exactly how to help me find…me.

Maybe…maybe I needed some time to think about it. Maybe I needed to go, at least for a little while.

I clear my throat, "Your right, maybe I am just misleading myself...but, I need to figure that out…on my own. But, I'll be back okay? I just need to figure myself out, make since of my memories…because obviously you know me better then I know myself. And I can't have that. Thank you Damon. Stay here…I'll be back in a few days…I promise." I say with a smile, full of unsure feelings. I don't know where to go from here, but I suppose it doesn't matter. I look up at him, I owe him something, I give him another small smile, and then I kiss him on the cheek letting my lips linger on his cheek much longer than they should have. "Goodbye Damon."

With that I disappear through the front door leaving a very confused Damon standing on the stairs motionlessly.


	17. Mona Lisa

**Hey it's been a while! Haha, anyway here you are chapter 17! Notice the name? How many of you are fans of Pat-D? (Panic at the Disco) Well, you know their song, 'The Ballad of the Mona Lisa'? This chapter is based off of that. Elena is becoming, Mona Lisa. Vindictive, and guaranteed to run the town. Yep, so this chapter is dedicated to Pat-D you rock as always! :) I hope you like this Elena, look forward too a Damon POV chapter next time and some more Minna! Maybe even Bonnie, Jeremy and Caroline? LOTS planned to happen soon since what Elena aims to do here will REALLY help her with her humanity. Okay, I'll stop so you can read! Sorry for rambling! BYEE!**

No Remedy for Memory

Chapter 17

Mona Lisa

**Elena POV**

The funny thing about the world is how unfair it is. I left. I left Damon standing in the foyer at the plantation house and ever since, I've had this uncontrollable need to see him again. So far I was able to keep it at bay. It'd been four days…I'd killed twenty six people, at first I felt no remorse. None at all…it had made me hope that I was safe. That I would be able to drown my humanity in a pool of blood but, after victim number fourteen I began feeling guilty. Instead of drowning in blood I was drowning in self-pity. How poetic. That a _vampire _is unable to drown their soul in the blood of their victims and perfectly capable of drowning in their own sorrow even when they had no intention of feeling at all. I guess that was humanity. I guess there were parts that were just…unavoidable. Nothing could block them nothing could stop them, they were slipping through the tiniest of cracks and attacking my consciousness. And I knew there were no precautions I could take to stop it.

None, at all.

I breath in deeply tipping my chaser forward and swallowing the last gulp of bourbon. Now I know why Damon was always drinking…cause it was fucking impossible to get drunk. I had downed eight glasses of bourbon, and not in small amounts either. I was drinking glasses full to the rim, and I was hardly sloshy.

The bartender was eyeing me carefully, "How old are you, again, miss?" I rolled my eyes, that was the problem with alcohol. People under its influence were stupid, and forgetful. At this rate beer was the alternative to vervain. "Twenty one." I say again, re-enforcing the compulsion.

The man smiled, "Of course, how could I forget?"

"I don't know." I said uninterested. This was the shabbiest fucking hotel I had ever been to, something family owned, that didn't show up on maps…although to be honest I was pretty sure this town didn't show up on Google Earth…somewhere called Monetta? It was hours away from Marion and had a population of like 267 people…why there was a hotel here, I had no idea.

There were about seven people total, in the bar. There was a cute couple in the corner smiling and giggling up a storm, and at the moment I wanted to punch the smiling bitch out and drain her dry. It was a weird feeling, like my humanity and my vampire had mixed together in jealously and thirst and were shouting these crazy ass instructions into my head.

I had to do something about it. It was driving me insane, I roll my eyes, glancing down at my fun, royal blue dress and black, high-heeled ankle boots a perfectly suitable outfit had this been, New York, but no this was Monetta and I was getting all the attention. To be honest I was enjoying every minute of it. The only one not giving me all of his attention was, the one with Blondie in the corner. I push off of bar stool, and strut over to their table, putting on my sexiest smile, "Hello there." I say slyly, to the boy before glancing at the girl, "I think you need to go to the bathroom." I say with an evil smirk, the boring blond, excused herself immediately, and headed for the restrooms. "My name is…" I supposed using my real name would only make it easier for Damon to find me, so I used the first name that came to mind, "Mona Lisa." I say with a faux Italian accent, at the end trying to imitate my newly discovered doppelganger, I can tell he's contemplating what to do…obviously, I'm fierce sexy and interesting but, the blond is clearly on his mind.

"Xander." He says extending a hand towards me, "Xander, short for Alexander?" I say twirling a brown curl around my finger. He nods.

I tilt my head, to the side, "You want me." I say looking into his eyes, he nods. "Follow me." I say with a sly smirk, I take his hand in mine, trying to hold back the veins I can feel forming under my eyes, I can hear the blood pumping through his veins, I push him into the hall of the hotel, and then into a linen closet. Once inside I let it out, my fangs ripping through my gums, veins appearing under my eyes, he tenses when he see's me but, has no time to scream before I clamp my hand over his mouth, and lodge my teeth into his neck, draining him dry quickly.

I drop his lifeless body to the floor and regain my composure, suddenly realizing, that Monetta is small, and lonely and unknown which means vampires probably have no use for it. I doubt it has any protection like Marion, an evil smile crosses my face, I can be the Mona Lisa of this town, with a snap of my fingers.

I step out of the closet, leaving Xander to the roaches and go after his girl who I learn is named, Kaylee before I kill her leaving her with Xander in the same closet.

"Bye bye, birdie." I whisper closing the door for the final time.

Just as the door closes, a bellhop totters out of one of the rooms, "Hello, Miss…"

"Mona Lisa." I say confidently heading back to the bar, to scope out my next victim the next few days will be a ball, as I finish this town off, human by human.

**So what did you think? **

**Review? **

**Maybe? Please? Pretty please! I'll love you forever if you review!**

**xoxo Jess**


	18. Never Let Me Go

**Long chapter for me! I like it because we have Caroline, Damon, Minna and Elena POV. That's a LOT for me and I have a feeling the next few chapters will have some Delena! More than just thoughts, that is.**

** Also, I find that when I read a fan fiction I skip over thoughts sometimes, you will HAVE to read the entire thing to get it! LOTS of thinking, haha!**

**Okay that's enough from me, lets get on with the show! Dedicated to Lana Del Rey's song Never Let Me Go.**

**Review?**

No Remedy for Memory

Chapter 18

Never Let Me Go

**Caroline POV**

"Ten days! Ten entire days! It took you TEN whole days for you to '_fill me in'_? What the hell Bonnie?" I shriek at Bonnie and Jeremy who are sitting on the couch in the living room of the Gilbert house. I was straight up appalled. It had taken ten days for my _best friend_ to tell me that my other best friend not only was a **vampire **but, also on some crazy killing rampage thanks to Klaus…what the hell!

"I'm sorry Care, you were just so sad about Tyler and…we thought maybe we could handle it by ourselves." Bonnie says apologetically.

"Um, Bonnie, you could have told me what was going on when Tyler showed up on my doorstep like a lost puppy! I could have helped! I am kind of a vampire you know! And the _only _vampire in this town who's not in an emotional coma!" I continued to rant. This was just unbelievable.

"It wasn't a problem, we thought Damon had it under control."

I roll my eyes, "Please, Damon? Really? What the hell were you thinking? He's emotionally unstable when it comes to Elena!"

"I don't think that's why he didn't have it under control…" Jeremy murmurs.

"What?" Bonnie and I say in unison, although Bonnie's in quieter.

"I mean, I just think he knows what he's doing…"

"What do you mean? We've been tracking her remember Jer? She's in Monetta, South Caroline up to her neck in bodies, without Damon. And you think this is good? You think this is helping her?" Bonnie asks seeming confused.

"Not exactly…I just think, Damon has more control than any other vampire in this town…maybe he knows what he had to do to get that way…Don't get me wrong, I don't like that she's killing people but, if it helps her get better then…I'm okay with it. Sometimes just because something looks like it's spiraling out of control doesn't mean that it is…Maybe Damon's using like…reverse psychology or something? I mean this _is _Damon Salvatore that we're talking about, he would never put Elena in danger. Hell, he'd kill everyone in this room without even blinking if we were a threat to her. I really think he knows what he's doing letting her leave, if he didn't he probably wouldn't have let her go." Jeremy says shrugging.

I cannot believe what I'm hearing…when in hell did Jeremy start trusting Damon? "Since when are you all 'Team Damon'? Damon's an impulsive dick, and yes he loves Elena and yes he would do anything for her but, that doesn't mean he know what's best for her…and I have excellent control thank you! That being said, I think I should go find Elena. Maybe I can help her? I am her friend you know, I know how her mind works. It shouldn't be that hard for me to help her, right?"

Jeremy shrugs and Bonnie, nods, "Maybe, you should…I mean it can't hurt can it? Help is help…and maybe seeing you will jog something…human. But, Jeremy's right Damon would do anything for her and he does have experience with blood lust…not only that but, I know Elena loves him…I think you should go find Damon…and then maybe you can _both _help her."

"What? Why are you both Damon lovers all of the sudden…" I realize why as soon as the words leave my tongue. "She choose? She choose Damon…didn't she?"

The two nod.

"We're trying to be supportive…" Bonnie says quietly.

I nod…it makes since that they think Damon can help, if she choose him then obviously she has some very deep feelings for him… "I'll go to Marion…see if I can get the whole story from Damon. That way we'll know what's going on. Keep tracking them both. Call me if locations change, I'll have my phone on me twenty-four-seven. I guess I should probably go…it's a pretty far drive." They nod and I turn to leave but, Jeremy stops me. "Please…help my sister." He pleads.

I nod, "I will." I say with a sad smile; exiting the house and getting into my car. I have a long drive ahead of me…Marion, South Carolina here I come.

**Damon POV**

I missed her like hell, it hurts so much. But, somehow I'm able to convince myself she's okay. I know that she is. She's Elena, human or not…and Elena is a lot of things but, weak is not one of them. She can handle herself if she thinks she can.

I hope she can at least.

If she can't…I don't know what I'll do. I can't stand the thought of her hating me forever.

I sip some bourbon, and remember Minna…her promise…her warning. It was all so dramatic. I'm recollecting that day now in my mind, taking in every word a second time, making sure I didn't miss anything important.

My mind flashes back to yesterday…

YESTERDAY MORNING

I was not happy with the skinny blond bitch in front of me. I assumed she was Artamis' sister, she was perfect copy of her and just as uncalled for.

"Damon…" she warned seeing me tense.

"Get out of my way." I say not in the mood for conversation, I was not going to let this bitch distract me from the task at hand…finding Elena.

"No. You have to listen to me, my name is Minna Calviari," _Figures_. "I'm not trying to prevent you from finding Elena. I know that's what you think…and your wrong. I met Elena in the woods yesterday, and we talked…I know what she's going through, I've been through it myself. But, you need to know…she's confused right now." _No shit Sherlock. _"She doesn't know the difference between _blood _lust and just pure and honest _lust_. She's going to try to figure it out but, she's **going **to kill people. She's going to make mistakes and she's going to need your help…later. Not now. She doesn't miss you yet. She doesn't have all of her memories back, but she's been getting them back slowly…and soon she'll start missing you. She'll want to see you and she'll try to find you, whatever it takes. That's when you need to try and find her, if you go now then your forcing her to be what she's not…let her come to you…not the other way around."

I roll my eyes, unconvinced, "Thanks for the tip." I say clearly having no intention of heading her advice.

"Damon." She looks at me with the utmost seriousness in her eyes. "You need to trust me."

"Sorry I'm not big on trust." I say pushing past her and getting into my car.

She hurriedly follows getting in the passenger's seat before I can stop her. I roll my eyes, "Get out of the car Blondie." I say harshly, contemplating ripping her head off, "Damon. No. Not until you listen to me. It's more important than ever. I know how she can get better. You want her to get better right?"

"Of course I do. Forgive me for not trusting the sister of the evil bitch who tried to kill the girl I love."

"Artamis is a bit of an extremist… but, I'm not. I want to help Elena because honestly it sucks to be a Lust Drunk…literally."

_What the hell is a Lust Drunk? _I think to myself, then as if reading my mind she says, "It's my Covens term for _Ripper._"

I raise an eyebrow, "Okay, Edward…whatever you say." _Coven? Mind reading…this was getting freakishly Twilight-ey… _"Can one of you see the future too?"

"What? No…wait oh, Twilight reference…very funny." Minna says dryly. "No, we're like a family of vampires from the same sire…in our case our sire is Artamis and myself in some cases."

"The Calviari Coven?"

She nods, "Yes."

I nod.

"Look Damon I only want to help her. If she comes back to Marion and feeds on anyone else Artamis _will _kill her. No second chances. And I don't want to see that happen to Elena because I _know _she's good. I can see it. Just like I know she loves you…I see that too. She's got so much potential…why waste it by getting her killed…I'll go and find her, watch her evolve and I'll tell you when you can come help her. It's the best way to do this Damon…I think you know that."

I let out a deep breath, I don't fully trust Minna but, she has a point. And I think she may be able to help her…

I finally nod, and quickly jot down my number on an old receipt. "Call me when she's ready." A small smile crosses Minna's lips, and she starts to excite the car but before she can I grab her arm and pull her harshly towards me catching her off guard, "One more thing if you hurt Elena, I will kill every single member of your Coven well you watch and then I will kill you. Got it?"

She whimpers, "Got it." I realize her and watch as she disappears into the distance, going as fast as she can.

PRESTENT DAY

I know I have to trust her now. And I think I can…although, I'm prepared to keep my promise if she breaks hers. I might be younger then her 'Coven' but, sneak attacks are a specialty of mine and I have no problem with eradicating the vampire problem in this town.

Let's hope for her 'families' sake and for Elena's Minna is trust worthy or this will not end well. For anyone.

**Elena POV**

Killing was natural to me now, it had become so, un-thought of it was almost like breathing…draining the blood from a person was as natural as blinking, I knew it was part of being a vampire, and usually I felt nothing for the person whose life I was taking but, every so often I'd throw a body to the ground and look down and it and feel a little ache in my heart.

That person had a life. A family. Parents and friends who cared about them…who was I to take this person away from them?

Where did I get the right to, kill them without even blinking and walk away well, their children will cry about the loss for years on in…what gave me the right?

My nature? My species? My fangs? Was I really this cold blooded killer? Was I actually _this _malevolent?

Yes. I was…I had just taken this person away from every person whom loved it. There was nothing else to say. No other possibilities to explore…but, I knew it hadn't _always _been this way…even if I had only controlled it for a day…I had been good. I had, had friends. People who loved me…

I had. Past tense I reminded myself. No longer in existence.

I shouldn't even be thinking about this now…not standing on the side of a highway in Monetta waiting for a lone car to stop…I am longing for a feed and this remorsefulness is giving me a headache.

Finally, I see a white van driving down the lonely road, I wave it down and the driver pulls to a stop.

Quietly waltzing over to the drivers, window I see a man with thick black hair and green eyes. He looks like he's about, thirty-three in good health. "Can I help you?" He asks politely a slight southern twang lacing his words with even more friendliness. "Yes," I say sweetly copying his accent, except lighter and more feminine, "my car broke down a ways up the road, I wondered down here trying to flag down some passing cars, you are the first one kind enough to stop…so, do you know anything about fixing cars or…maybe you have a cell phone on you?"

He does a once over, making sure I'm not a threat, I know he's decided I don't look like one. I look like a harmless human, my hair tied up in a high pony tail, and my simple floral jeans and button down denim blouse. No one would think anything of it. Just a harmless high-school girl whose car is a piece of crap and is too stupid to charge her cell phone.

He smiles, "I can take a look at it if you want? I'm a mechanic in town."

"That'd be perfect!" I say with fake enthusiasm. "I'm Mona by the way." I say with a sly smile, I'd taken the name: _Mona Lisa_. Mona as a first name Lisa as a last, in this town I got a lot of odd looks with that name, although commonly, I corrected they're looks with compulsion. I'd been here less than twenty four hours and I had compelled half the town. That _had _to be a record.

The man climbs out of the car, "Hold on one minute," he says going to the side door, before he can open it I have him pushed against the van, hand clasp around his neck, his feet are just inches from the ground as my fangs protrude, he screams upon seeing them and I do nothing to stop him the road is empty. "No!" he begs, "Please, my kids!" he screams, I ignore him digging my fangs into his neck, I continue drinking until I hear one of his screams again, "Emma, get Ian and run!" he chokes, I'm not sure to who until another voice gains my attention, "Daddy!"

I drop the man to the ground, he's still alive but, barely conscious. I turn to see a little girl holding the hand of a smaller boy. They're shaking, the girl is crying and the boy is too young to understand what he's seeing.

Her heart rate increases, but she's smart enough to know not to run. She can't her brother wouldn't be able to keep up.

The girl looks about seven, and the boy three or four. I look at them trying to decide if I should kill them or not when something about the boy catches my attention…

**Minna POV**

I'd been watching Elena for almost two days now…and I'd let her kill, five or six people. Not interfering or stopping her but, I don't know if standing on the side-lines is a choice at the moment.

I can see the little girl and littler boy in the back seat of the car she's stopped but, she doesn't. She's talking to the man, convincing him to get out of the car. Of course he does.

He thinks she's just a helpless girl who needs some help with her car…if only he knew.

I watch as she throws him against the car and plunges her fangs into his neck.

And I hear him choke out the names of the children, Emma and Ian…she sees them now, and I'm ready to stop her if need be. I will not let her kill these children. I just won't. It's inhumane.

The kids are shaking the girl is sobbing but, they do not run from Elena. They stand their ground on the other side of the car. Not steadily. Not with bravery but, with shaky stances and quivering lips.

Then Elena tilts her head to the side and I'm not exactly sure what it is she sees. She's looking at the boy…then I realize…what's happening. What she sees. I can see the recognition in her eyes.

One name crosses my mind at I see the little boys face: _Damon._

**Elena POV**

The boy…has raven black hair and ice-blue eyes.

My heart aches…_Damon._ He looks so much like him. So much like the man I knew I had loved. The man who still through everything loved me.

I tilt my head to the side as a word escapes my lips, _"Damon."_ And suddenly I'm taken back by a memory.

_I hear movement around me and my eyes flicker open._

_Damon's face comes into view… "Damon…" I whisper weak from the loss of blood. Klaus had taken so much, every inch of my body aches as Damon drops the disconnected tube he had been holding and scoops me up into his arms, my body pressed against his chest. I never want to let him go. Once again he comes to my rescue. My knight in shining armor. What would I do without him?_

_Then another thought crosses my mind, Where was he today?_

_Why had he left me?_

_Why was Klaus able to take me in the first place?_

_So many questions and yet all I can think of is how much I owe him…how much he means to me. And how I'd make sure he never heard any of this. He couldn't know how much I cared about him._

_That wasn't fair._

_Not to him…not to Stefan._

_I couldn't afford to think about Damon as more than a friend right now…not now. So instead I fold into him, soaking up his warmth, I know it'll end. I know I will leave his arms. I know once I'm better we will fight about where he was today…but, for now…just for one second I could just be there with him and hope he'd never let me go._

I snap out of it and glance back down at the children. I can't kill them. I can't take anything away from the child who looks like Damon. My Damon.

I can't and I won't.

"I am so sorry." I say quietly, before healing their father and compelling them all to forget. And as I flee into the darkness I think of that night with Damon…when he rescued me and for the first time I wish he was here…holding my hand.

For the first time…_I miss Damon Salvatore._


	19. The Final Countdown

**Okay guys only 1 or 2 more chapters left till the end!**

**I like this chapter LOTS of different POV's! WOOOHOOO**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Ever heard The Final Countdown? It's an instrumental my school uses as a theme song! lol since this is the last before finale chapter I thought it was appropriate!**

No Remedy for Memory

Chapter 19

The Final Countdown

**Minna POV**

I watch her as she flee's…did she see what I saw in the little boy?

Did she see Damon?

This was remarkable…a vampire as new as Elena turning away from a feed for the sake of a childs appearance. I've never seen anything like it before.

Not even with Marin.

A vampire in our coven I had helped. She had a hard time with killing…always fighting herself but, no matter how much she tried to fight it she always killed in the end. She'd been a vampire for twenty years…

And yet Elena who is maybe two weeks old has more restraint?

How is that?

I've helped many people and none of them have been able to stop a feed.

Then something else occurred to me…maybe Elena had made enough progress with her emotions…maybe she _needed_ Damon's help again.

It was time to call him.

_How remarkable it had only taken a day…Elena was something very special indeed._ I thought bringing my phone out of my leather sling over and dialing Damon's number from the paper he'd given me.

He answered seconds later.

"Damon, Elena needs you." Is the only thing I say hanging up swiftly and putting my phone away. Having a conversation with Damon isn't going to get him here any faster. The only thing I can do now is watch and wait for Damon to arrive.

**Elena POV**

I play with Damon's ring. Twisting it around my finger and admiring its beauty.

I miss him.

The two sides aren't fighting anymore. It seems they've found something in common. Damon.

I can think now. I have been…really hard. About everything. I remember now. All of it.

I'm basically a girl who is loved by everyone and gets everything she wants…it doesn't seem bad…but, it doesn't seem that great either.

Always trying to live up to everyone's expectations…that's all I've ever done. Live up to what they all expect. I never tested their limits. I wouldn't even let myself love someone who I loved more than anything else… Why is that?

I know I won't be that again. That girl…whoever she was isn't me.

I don't want that life.

I don't need to live up to anybody's expectations.

Not, my brothers, or Stefan's, or Bonnie's…I don't owe them anything.

But Damon…I owe him everything.

He deserves everything.

Every single thing.

I treated him like shit for years.

I remembered all of that too.

And I hate myself for it.

Damn I was a bitch.

He never deserved it.

None of it.

I look around…I'm in the biggest house in Monetta. I'd killed the owner and compelled half of the town to serve me. They were human blood bags as well as maids and butlers.

I was living like a queen and I wasn't contempt with any of it. And I wouldn't be. Not until Damon was here to be my king.

I needed to take my mind off of him. Something…anything to stop me from running after him…I couldn't do that. What would he think then? I'd be playing with his head again and that wasn't going to happen. Not anymore.

I call over one of the pretty servant girls in the room, "Let's have a ball…" I say not really thinking about it. I just said the first thing that popped into my head.

"When ma'am?" the brown haired green eyed girl asks.

"Tonight."

"What time Miss?"

"I don't care…" I groan, "sunset."

"Okay miss. Who is invited?"

"Everyone…the entire town. People. Whoever the hell you know."

"Okay Miss. Where do you want it."

"City hall."

"Of course Miss." She began to leave but, I stop her.

"I want all the shops in town to bring me all their ball dresses. I want to look nice." I say with a smile.

This ball should take my mind off of everything.

I can play dress up and pretend to be happy for a night.

This should be fun.

**Caroline POV**

I can see Damon storming out of the large plantation house smugly.

Where the hell is he going?

Elena maybe?

I run at him, jumping in front of his car just as he's about to pull out of the dirt driveway.

"Caroline?" he says stunned slamming on the breaks.

"Where are you going?"

He ignores me, "What are you doing here?"

"I know Elena's in trouble. Why did you let her go? Are you an idiot? She could be killing people! How could you let her—" I begin to chew him out when he cuts me off.

"Give it a rest Barbie. I _know_ you think you have it all figured out but, I guarantee you don't. Now if you'll excuse me I don't have time for your bitching." He says releasing the break and drive straight into me.

"Damon! What the hell!" I scream darting away before her mows me over.

"I don't have time for you Caroline. Right now I need to go."

"So you decide to RUN ME OVER!" he tries to drive past me but, I grab the bumper of his car pulling it towards me with a sharp jerk. "Tell me what the fuck is going on because I'm seriously worried about Elena." I command.

"She's alive."

"Wow. Really? Where is she?"

He rolls his eyes. "Around."

"Is this a game to you? I thought you love her, so why won't you let me help find her."

"I KNOW WHERE SHE IS BLONDIE! I DON'T WANT YOUR HELP." He says sharply clearly pissed.

"Well…start wanting it because I'm not leaving."

"You are really annoying you know that?"

"And you're a dick. Now that we've stated the obvious…let me help you."

"Why? Why do you want to help?"

"Because she's my best friend and I love her."

"I love her too."

"And I know that Damon. I do. I know you love her. And you know I love her too. So let me come with you. Let me help you. Please." I beg.

We both stay quiet for a moment. The he says, "Fine. But, you get to sit in the back seat."

"Fine by me." I say climbing in the back.

Damon fills me in on what's happened…and I can hear the level of concern in his voice.

I wince as he recollects on every single person she's killed.

He winces to…

I know he loves her. I know that. I always have. She must love him too…

It's a little sad…that after all this time. After all the pain Damon has had to endure to get her…she leaves him again.

Damon may be a dick but, I want him to be happy.

And maybe it was finally his chance.

**Elena POV**

Hours after dismissing the maid I'm combing through dresses.

There are tons of them.

Apparently Monetta is known for its little boutique of designer ball gowns…who would've known.

I smile as I zip up a dazzling sequined one shoulder dress that cascaded down my slender body the embellishing changing from gold to a light slivery pink towards the bottom. The brilliant dresses fabric draped from my right shoulder pulled tightly to the right in pleats then cascading from there to the floor.

It was beautiful.

I smile one last time at myself.

The party was in an hour…

Let the fun begin.

**Damon POV**

Caroline was busy worrying about Elena as we drove past the five mile marker. Monetta, South Carolina was right around the corner. Which met Elena was too.

I missed her so much.

I was worried about her…but, she needed my help. That's what Minna had said. And like always when she needed help I was there for her.

My phone rings and Caroline stops talking, for once.

"Who's that?" she asks looking over my shoulder.

I ignore her and press talk, "Hello?"

"Damon. Where are you?" Minna says from the other end.

I know Caroline is listening. "In the car, five minutes away from Monetta."

"Damon who is that?" Caroline nags.

"Stop the car."

I put on the break immediately.

"Why?"

"That's what I thought." She says ignoring him.

The call disconnects and a moment later, Minna is opening the passenger's side door, wearing a full length strapless turquoise dress with silver embroidery around the neck line and the mid ribcage, flowing from there to the floor, her hair is curled and long and she holds a silver clutch. "Woah…what the hell? Who are you!" Caroline screeches, "WHO IS SHE?" She screeches again turning to face me.\

"I'm Minna Calviari, I'm helping Elena. Who are you?"

I snort knowing Caroline is about to freak out.

"I'm Caroline Forbes. Elena's best friend." She says tightly.

"Lovely." Minna says with a smile.

I glance between them, "Hello Minna."

She nods acknowledging me, "Damon."

"Why are you dressed like Blake Lively?"

"Elena."

"What?" Caroline and I say in unison.

"She's having a ball."

Caroline and I shared a what-the-fuck-is-going-on glance.

And then Caroline actually says, "What the fuck is going on?"

"Elena got bored and Elena threw a ball. It start's in twenty minutes. You'll both need to change."

Silence.

I start the car and mutter, "Okay then…"

**Caroline POV**

I sat back against the seat, looking at the blond in the front seat.

Help Elena?

No bitch that is my job.

Damon doesn't seem to trust her entirely which is bad.

And now I have to put on a dress and compete with Elena and this bitch.

Yeah…okay. Fine. No big deal.

Basically…fuck my life.

**…**..**...**...**...**

Five minutes later we pull into a hotel parking lot and Minna leads us to her room.

Where it looks like she robbed Mall of America and stolen all the fine suites and evening gowns.

Who is this bitch?

I roll my eyes as she tells us to pick out whatever we want. Because, apparently, it's all been stolen…which is _very _comforting.

I choose a beautiful yellow satin dress with a deep V neck line and a sexy slit up the leg. I quickly fixed my hair into a bun and retouched my makeup.

For last minute I looked damn good.

Minutes after we changed we pulled up to City Hall where the party was being held.

This was it.

Time to save Elena.

**Please REVIEW! They are love!**

**Hope you liked it!**

**Delena next chapter!**

**:)**


	20. No Remedy for Memory

**Okay so this is the last chapter you guys! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING SO AMAZING AND READING MY STORY! I love you all! 3 There will be an afterward however about who the story is dedicated to. But, anyway THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING I LOVE YOU ALL AND HOPE THAT YOU CONTINUE READING MY STORIES! If you like Warehouse 13 or Doctor Who I have a few W13 fics and a W13/DW crossover and also MANY other Delena fics that are still in progress so check them out if you want to read something else by me! Again thank you for becoming so involved in this story! I LOVE YOU. Goodbye for now my lovelies.**

No Remedy for Memory

Chapter 20

No Remedy For Memory

**Damon POV**

I looked around the crowded lobby of City Hall. It was a large room with high ceilings and marble floors. In the center of the room was a large staircase flooding forward like a water fall. Waiters with trays of Champaign circled throughout the room and most of the town were there wearing their finest clothing.

Caroline stood close to me. Her blond hair in a perfect bun and her yellow dress gleaming in the light of the crystal chandeliers, she looked nice, beautiful even. Anyone who didn't know her would have swooned at the sight of her and some were, but luckily I knew her and I knew behind that pretty face was the most annoying teenage girl I'd ever met.

But she was loveable. Not in a sex way, but in a sisterly way and as much as I hated to admit it, I didn't mind Caroline. She was one of the few people I tolerated and considering how annoying she was my tolerance was pretty high.

"Looks like the guest of honor hasn't arrived…" I say to Caroline.

She nods, "I'm sure she won't be hard to find. Elena always was one for entrances."

I look down at Caroline, "I know." I say calmly.

I spot Minna across the room, she's chatting up a group of humans. She said she'd be collecting information.

Minna unlike Caroline he wouldn't tolerate. Minna wasn't important to him in the least and as soon as Elena was safe he'd be done with her.

Suddenly, the calm music stops and the soft voice of a human girl replaces it, "Citizens of Monetta, South Carolina, would you please give a warm welcome to the lady of the evening Miss. Mona Lisa."

_Who the fuck was Mona Lisa?_ I think as the humans clap for the unknown girl hidden behind thick red curtains.

Then she steps out from behind the curtains.

Her face comes into view. Stunning and glorious. The thick brown curls, the large brown eyes, and that smile that was so full of kindness and mischief…Elena.

She's beautiful.

Her dress collects all the light from the chandeliers and reflects it a million different ways as if bounces off the gold and pink embroidery.

I can't take my eyes off of her and neither can anyone else.

Her beauty is more radiant than that of Caroline's or Minna's or any other girl in the room.

She cascades down the stairs gracefully finally making her way to the bottom where she's met with a mob of admirers, all saying the same things, "I love your dress." "May I have this dance?" "You look beautiful."

She smiles as she walks past them stopping every once in a while to shake someone's hand, but the smile on her face is tight. Not relaxed the heart beats and humans around her are killing her concentration.

She doesn't see us. I know where she's aiming to go…she eyes, bounce from the people to the balcony door. I snort. And tap on Caroline's shoulder who's watching Elena closely.

"Don't let her see you Caroline. Understand?"

"What? Why?"

"I need to do this. Please stay out of view."

She looks concerned, but finally nods. "Okay. Do what you need to do."

I manage a smile and turn racing at vampire speed onto the balcony.

I know I'm not seen as I flee. Only one pair of eyes are on me and they belong to Caroline…

**Elena POV**

I can smell the blood of every single human around me. I have the urge to kill them all. Drain them dry. Have a human buffet. But there is a part of me quietly whispering for me to be smart about this. Not to kill them all, but to take a deep breath and enjoy one or two of them later when there were less eyes on me.

It's hard, but I decide to go with the second option, I tell myself it's what Damon would do even though I'm not entirely positive about that.

I shake the waiting hands and return countless hellos, but my eyes are on the door. I need some fresh air. Now.

I close my eyes and focus on Damon's face…the face that resides behind my eyelids every single time my eyes are closed. I can hear him telling me that, everything is going to be fine…but at the moment I wish I was dead. I would be better off dead…after everything I've done. Everyone I've hurt. Dead seems like the only thing I deserve. I certainly don't deserve Damon. Not in the least, but dammit I want him. I want him so badly it hurts. I want him here with me. I want him to help me, tell me he'll always be here for me. I know I don't deserve it, but that's what I want.

He's like this dark paradise full of temptation and passion. No one compares to him…there's no relief, no cure for him. And there shouldn't be…why would someone want to get away from that? From him? Someone who loves whole heartedly, but ceases to get love in return. Not this time. This time it's different this time he will get love in return and hopefully my love will be enough.

Hopefully…still something is telling me not to go looking for him. To let him get away from me. To make him stay away. To free him from all the pain and suffering I've caused him. And maybe I should…maybe I should just kill myself and save him from an eternity of pain…but I can't. Because I know…either way he could get hurt. So I'll live and I'll find him and I'll never hurt him or let anyone else hurt him…

I swear on my life.

I push towards the patio doors at the other end of the room. Moving past the attention hungry humans and outside.

The cool night air relieves the burning thirst the blood filled air had caused.

And I let myself calm down taking a few deep breaths and walking over to the marble railing placing a hand on the smooth ice cold stone and closing my eyes. Thinking once more of Damon remembering everything about him from his angelic face to his familiar silky voice…I can almost hear him, calling my name…in such a sweet seductive voice that it makes me go weak in the knees.

_Yes, _I think, _I will love him forever._

I feel something cover my hand and open my eyes…a hand…on top of my own…not just a hand. _His _hand.

I look up at his face in shock.

He's here. I can't believe he's here.

Tears fill my eyes as I reach up and touch his cheek just to make sure he's not an allusion.

"Damon?" I wince quietly.

He nods a small crooked smile resting on his lips.

"Oh, my god! Damon!" I say joy flooding through me as his presence finally registers with my mind. I fling my arms around his neck and hold him tightly feeling that if I let go he might disappear.

I feel the happy tears sting my cheeks as I press my body into his, "You're here. You're here." I say into his neck.

He pulls me back and looks at me, "Of course I'm here, Elena. I told you I would never leave you again."

"And you didn't. Not once." I say through my tears, pressing my lips to his and kissing him. Putting every single thing that I have into the kiss. All my love, my devotion, my need. All of it.

He kisses me back passionately. Our kiss is full of hunger and love. Want and need. And every emotion that does or has ever existed. And in that moment I feel so infinite it's unreal. There is no end and no beginning, only a never ending circle of us laughing, loving, smiling.

I pull back, smiling uncontrollably. "I love you, so much."

"I love you too." He says with a smile matching mine. We kiss again, shorter than the last, but just as infinite.

"How did you find me?" I ask breathlessly.

"I had help from your friend."

"Minna?"

He nods.

I laugh, "She is such a saint." I say kissing him once more never getting enough.

"Minna and Caroline." He says after we pull back.

I tilt my head to the side, "Caroline is here?"

He nods.

"I miss her."

"We can go find her if you want."

"No." I almost shout, "No…I missed you more." I say my arms around his neck.

He looks at me for a long time and then finally says, "You have no idea how much I love you…" he looks at me again, "I don't deserve you." He says cradling my face in his palm, "How do you love me."

I breathe out and smile, "You're asking all the wrong questions." I say as his thumb brushes over my cheek. "You should be asking why I was so blind. Why it took me so long to see exactly how much you actually do deserve. You deserve everything Damon. Way more than just me."

He smiles, "You are everything." He says kissing me again.

And in that moment the world was perfect. Everything clicked. It didn't matter that I was a vampire or that we'd been through so much. It didn't matter that Caroline was inside or that I'd killed people. All that mattered was Damon. All that I ever was or ever would be could be summed up in one word: his. I was Damon's and he was mine and above all else that was true…because there really is no remedy for memory. You never really forget anything…memories never leave you. And as much as we may want to put the past behind us, memories are the echo in the back of our heads that never let us forget. And I think above all else, that is the reason that Damon is my true love because no matter how happy I tried to be with Stefan or with my friends…my memories of Damon were what really kept me going. Because memories don't fade they don't change they are real and pure and you can't change them.

It was Damon and it will always be Damon until the end of time.

**Since this is the last chapter will you please leave a review telling me what you thought about the story. I would really really like that. **

**Thank you so much, please review.**


	21. Afterward

No Remedy for Memory

Afterward

**The story is dedicated to the beautiful, talented Lana Del Rey because when I heard her song 'Dark Paradise' all I could think about was Delena and how perfectly the song fit their relationship. It's a beautiful song and the lyrics are below, I also dedicate this to Ian and Nina for playing such amazing characters and to Allison Scags and Aaron Ashmore because when TVD was in it's off season and Warehouse 13 was on Claudia and Steve's cute relationship (don't you dare criticize my crack ship you guys) was what kept me writing for Delena. I also want to say, everyone: KEEP THE FAITH. Delena is coming we will get what we've been waiting for, for four years. Have no doubts that Delena will happen because it will. They are endgame and my FAVORITE OTP. Anyway thank you so much for staying with the story I am so happy that you read and enjoyed! I enjoyed reciving ALL of your reviews and I always do. Thanks so much guys. Go check out my other stories and things if you want and follow me on tumblr for updates and obsessing at: bornforthe70s. Okay I'll go now. If you don't listen to Lana PLEASE go look her up because she is a goddess. Her music is different but, it REALLY grows on you. Start with Dark Paradise because that is a TOTAL Delena song. Okay for real now. I love you and thank you. Bye. Xoxo Jessica.**

**DARK PARADISE BY LANA DEL REY**

All my friends tell me I should move on  
I'm lying in the ocean, singing your song  
Ahhh, that's how you sang it  
Loving you forever, can't be wrong  
Even though you're not here, won't move on  
Ahhh, that's how we played it

And there's no remedy for memory your face is  
Like a melody, it won't leave my head  
Your soul is haunting me and telling me  
That everything is fine  
But I wish I was dead

Everytime I close my eyes  
It's like a dark paradise  
No one compares to you  
I'm scared that you won't be waiting on the other side  
Everytime I close my eyes  
It's like a dark paradise  
No one compares to you  
I'm scared that you won't be waiting on the other side

All my friends ask me why I stay strong  
Tell 'em when you find true love, it lives on  
Ahhh, that's why I stay here

And there's no remedy for memory your face is  
Like a melody, it won't leave my head  
Your soul is haunting me and telling me  
That everything is fine  
But I wish I was dead

Everytime I close my eyes  
It's like a dark paradise  
No one compares to you  
I'm scared that you won't be waiting on the other side  
Everytime I close my eyes  
It's like a dark paradise  
No one compares to you  
But that there's no you,  
Except in my dreams tonight

Oh oh oh, ha ha ha  
I don't wanna wake up from this tonight  
Oh oh oh, ha ha ha  
I don't wanna wake up from this tonight

There's no relief, I see you in my sleep  
And everybody's rushing me, but I can feel you touching me  
There's no release, I feel you in my dreams  
Telling me I'm fine

Everytime I close my eyes  
It's like a dark paradise  
No one compares to you  
I'm scared that you won't be waiting on the other side  
Everytime I close my eyes  
It's like a dark paradise  
No one compares to you  
But that there's no you,  
Except in my dreams tonight

Oh oh oh, ha ha ha  
I don't wanna wake up from this tonight  
Oh oh oh, ha ha ha  
I don't wanna wake up from this tonight


End file.
